Rafa defeats RRBC to win 5th RG title

I’m too emotional to write in a coherent manner, so I’ll let Rudyard Kipling do the talking, with a line from my favourite poem;

If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And—which is more—you’ll be a Man my son
!”

Mallorcan Rafael Nadal Parera defeated Robin Bo Carl Soderling, 6-4, 6-2, 6-4, to win his 7th Slam title today.

Sod played well, but not up to his awesome standard during the rest of the tournament. Rafa played a wonderful match, hitting plenty of astounding winners, and looking more like his 2008 self.

Robin deserves so much fucking credit for his incredible run. He, for the second consecutive year, defeated the World #1 and defending champion, this time Roger Federer. He played brilliant tennis to come through a tough 5 set semi against Berdych.

As I’ve recently admitted, mainly thanks to our Queen Vitch Jills, I am becoming a Sod fan. He plays some amazing tennis, and is genuinely hilarious and awesome off court. Robin will now reach his career high ranking of World #6. Congrats on an amazing fortnight, dude. And good luck for Wimbledon. Hugs to Robin fans.

But today was about one man……

Rafa was more emotional than we’ve ever seen him after a match. He genuinely cried his heart out after winning his 5th Roland Garros title. He spoke of how difficult the last year was for him, what with the injury to the holy knees, the tear in his abdominal muscles, and seperation of his parents, and he thanked the crowd and his ever-present team for their support. He seems to be in a much better place now than he was last year, and I for one couldn’t be more proud to call myself a Rafa fan. He teared up again as the Spanish National Anthem, La Marcha Real, was played. Beautiful moment.

Rafa will now regain his World #1 ranking from Roger Federer, and heads into Wimbledon on a 22 match winning streak, after going undefeated in the clay season. Vamos!

Felicitaciones, campeon!!!

Massive hugs and love to all our fellow Rafa fans.

RG QFs; shit just got real

Dude. What a fucking day at RG.

HSM uber fave, and all round King of Awesome Nole lost to Jurgen Melzer in a tough and epic 5 setter. Nole had lead by two sets to love and a break. This was such a tough loss. But credit where it’s due, Melzer played the match of his fucking life. Well done to him. Hugs to our fellow Nole fans. Especially our resident Serbian BAMF Aleksa.

Melzer’s reward? A match with….

King of Clay Rafa, who took out his douchebag compatriot Nicolas Assmagro in straights. It was actually a tough match, Rafa made shitloads of unforced errors, but he came through in the end and that’s all that matters. Vamos!

In the ladies draw,

these two chicks will face off in the Semis. I love JJ so much, but TBH, a round of applause is required for the fucking amazing Slammin’ Sammy Stosur. She took out Haley Joel Henin and World #1 ReRe in consecutive matches. That is truly badass. My girl JJ beat Yaroslava Shvedova in straights. Ajde!

We will have a virgin slam winner lift the trophy. The WTA semis are tomorrow;

http://www.rolandgarros.com/en_FR/scores/schedule/index.html

I’m gonna be about as fair and balanced as Faux News here and say I’d like to see JJ win this motherfucker. AJDE GLITTER TRAIN!

(I mean, I’d be happy for any of the others, who are all great, but I’m a JJ KAD)

Andiamo Italia!!! RG Womens Singles QFs

Fratelli d’Italia, l’Italia, s’é desta….*

Aww Franny, you do pure joy so fucking well

Italian BAMF Francesca Schiavone took out porridge in human form Blahroline in straights to become the first Italian chick in over 50 years to reach a Slam semi. Franny will now also reach the Top 10 for the first time in her career.

She’s clearly elated. Badass :’)

She’ll now face…

injured Lena, who beat an even more injured Nads in a shitfest of a match.

Nadia’s loss mean that Lena will now be the only Russian chick in the Top 10. WTF?

However, it also means that my girlcrush, bella Flavietta will re-enter the Top 10!

TWO FIERCE ITALIAN BAMFs IN THE TOP 10!!! FORZA!

Tomorrow’s OOP;

http://www.rolandgarros.com/en_FR/scores/schedule/index.html

*every time I hear Fratelli d’Italia I almost tear up. I’m not even nearly fucking Italian. That is one BAMF national anthem.

This post is dedicated to the lovely Maz and Samy, aka @centac. Fierce Italian bella chica <3

HOLY FUCKING SHIT aka RG Men’s Singles QFs

IS THIS REAL LIFE?

So long, asshole

ROBIN BO CARL SODERLING YOU BADASS MOTHERFUCKER!

Yes, that did just happen. The Sod beat defending champion TMD in four sets to reach his second consecutive Roland Garros semifinal. This means Fed may lose his #1 ranking. It also means Fed’s incredible semi streak comes to an end.  I’m going to resist the temptation of kicking Fedoucherer while he’s down. Suffice it to say, we here at HSM are pretty fucking jazzed for RRBC. Sorry to the decent Fedfans. But this isn’t about Federer. This is about RRBC’s awesome fucking tennis, his badassery, and his epic cheerleaders, our very own HVIC, Jills, and our Twitter sister @JulesDC. I’m so fucking happy for you guys!

To all the haters who said Sod would grab his ankles and let Fed roll past, SUCK IT! Don’t doubt the Swedish BAMF in future!

I must confess, I’ve never really liked Soderling. But for the last few months, Queen Vitch Jillian has been steadily changing my opinion of him. He has an incredible game, he’s funny in pressers, and is adorkable. I mean come on, any dude who’ll sing Gimme Gimme Gimme by ABBA is clearly win. So, I salute you, General Sod. RRBC will now play…

beautiful BAMF Tomas Berdych, who beat Misha in straights to reach his first ever slam semi. Berdy is wonderfully talented, and totally fucking adorable. After years of people calling him a choker, he’s really coming good.

Nice to see another HSM fave go deep.

This post is dedicated to Jills. I love you, Vitch.

Roland Garros Day 10: Suicide Pool

Can’t find a pic of today’s HERO, Samantha Jane Stosur, anywhere. So, this guy will have to do

This Spanish sweetheart came through a tough match with his fellow leftie, rising star Thomaz Belucci, in straight sets. Nole took 4 to beat Ginepri, exhausted HSM fave Nando lost to Assmagro,  and Jurgen Melzer beat BAMF Teimuraz Gabashvili.

As mentioned, Slammin’ Sammy Stosur beat Haley Joel Henin in three sets. EPIC FUCKING WIN. My girl JJ beat Dani in straights, ReRe beat Israel’s Shahar Pe’er, and Yaroslava Shvedova beat cutie Jarmila Groth.

http://bit.ly/bkRsoB

^Tomorrow’s OOP. Post your SP picks below.

Good luck guys!

Roland Garros Day 9: Suicide Pool

Thanks for saving an otherwise crappy day, Tomas!

HSM fave and ~uber BAMF~ Tomas Berdych knocked out Britain’s Andy Murray to reach his first QF at the French Open. Berdy played some great tennis, and was aggressive throughout.

Masha totally choked in the continuation of her match with the kid from the Sixth Sense, which sucked. Other shitty happenings included Jo retiring after just one set against Misha with a back problem, Stan choking against Fed, and my bella Flavia losing to Blahroline.

Flavia and her bff Gisela did however make it through in the doubles. Andiamo!!! And Marc! Lopez and his doubles partner made it through to the Quarters of the Men’s Doubles. Awesome.

If you’re still in the SP, make your picks below.

http://www.rolandgarros.com/en_FR/scores/schedule/index.html

Good luck!

Roland Garros Suicide Pool: Day 8

I haz a sad. RAndy, Ferru and Juanqui all lost today, which is pretty fail.

HSM fave Masha’s match against RG’s fave daughter, Haley Joel Henin, was suspended while tied at a set all due to bad light. The fact that Masha even managed a set against Henin on clay is awesome. Davai! She’ll probably lose when play resumes, but I love her regardless.

Elsewhere; Rafa, Nole, injured Nando, JJ and ReRe all got wins.

Ok guys, those of you who are still in the SP can post your picks below.

http://www.rolandgarros.com/en_FR/scores/schedule/index.html

Good luck!

(Just wanted to say ANDIAMO FLAVIA! Hope she kicks Blahroline’s butt tomorrow. Unlikely, but IDGAF, she’s a fierce bitch! Forza bella!)

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.