RG QFs; shit just got real

Dude. What a fucking day at RG.

HSM uber fave, and all round King of Awesome Nole lost to Jurgen Melzer in a tough and epic 5 setter. Nole had lead by two sets to love and a break. This was such a tough loss. But credit where it’s due, Melzer played the match of his fucking life. Well done to him. Hugs to our fellow Nole fans. Especially our resident Serbian BAMF Aleksa.

Melzer’s reward? A match with….

King of Clay Rafa, who took out his douchebag compatriot Nicolas Assmagro in straights. It was actually a tough match, Rafa made shitloads of unforced errors, but he came through in the end and that’s all that matters. Vamos!

In the ladies draw,

these two chicks will face off in the Semis. I love JJ so much, but TBH, a round of applause is required for the fucking amazing Slammin’ Sammy Stosur. She took out Haley Joel Henin and World #1 ReRe in consecutive matches. That is truly badass. My girl JJ beat Yaroslava Shvedova in straights. Ajde!

We will have a virgin slam winner lift the trophy. The WTA semis are tomorrow;

http://www.rolandgarros.com/en_FR/scores/schedule/index.html

I’m gonna be about as fair and balanced as Faux News here and say I’d like to see JJ win this motherfucker. AJDE GLITTER TRAIN!

(I mean, I’d be happy for any of the others, who are all great, but I’m a JJ KAD)

Players Party: Full Of Fashion Don’ts and Media Whores.

The Sony Ericsson Open Players Party was last night a bunch of players attended and some people that I really don’t know who the fuck they are. Why do the photographers even bother? So I’m going to ignore the media whores and concentrate on the true stars of the party ( No, I’m not talking about NERD aka the entertainment) I mean the players of course. I’m still full of OMG!, WTFs? and Really? so you will see that a lot of those in this post.

Pic Spam Alert!!!!

I have to say that JJ is looking quite fab. Is like she found the right balance with being glittery and classy. So Yay!

I don’t know if I like or hate Vee’s dress. Okay I hate it, so yeah. It looks like she took the dress from her mom’s closet. Really, Vee?

Someone maybe injured but still looking amazing.  But don’t tell  ReRe, we don’t need her ego to get any bigger.

The Rad sisters. OMG! I’m just…. I’m lost for words. First ARad, I always see her and think Jersey Girl.  Are the Animal Prints still in? URad WTF is with the shoes? Really, pink dress and blue shoes?

Oh, look the Little Mermaid! Or maybe Tinkerbell! WTF are you wearing Caro? It looks like they painted the dress on her. I’m sad to say (not really) that she looked kind of trashy.

Now to the boys and there we don’t give fuck look.

At least try, dude. Whatevs,next.

Muzz looks decent. That’s all I will say.

First of all the caption was hilarious it actually said Rafael Nadal so I needed a few minutes to control my giggle fit. After that I saw what Nando was wearing. Sigh. Really, Nando? You’re so much better than this. No shaving, his hair is a mess (Bring back the Nando Hawk!!) and the clothes. *shakes head* Since when does Nando not take care of himself? WTF is going on?

ARad= Polish Snookie (but not slutty, well that we know of)

Looking good CanWoz. Well, they looked like they had fun.

What do you guys think?

Warning: This post was made during an Insomnia episode. Side effects include extra vitchiness and being extra mean.

Suck it, Haley Joel. ReRe retains her title.

Serena Williams def. Justine Henin, 6-4, 3-6, 6-2.

How’d ya like them apples, bitch?

Haley Joel reaffirmed my notion that Kimmy is the awesomest Belgian awesomer that ever did awesome when she was beaten by ReRe in the AO final. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m no ReRe fan, I just prefer a bitch with attitude who looks like she’d kick your ass to a bitch who’s boring and looks like Haley Joel Osment. I just can’t shake the feeling that Haley Joel is probs really pissed that Kim’s Mumback was more successful in the early stages than her comeback. And that warms my cold vitchy heart.

ReRe seemed genuinely thrilled at winning her 12th (count ’em y’all, TWELVE!) major. Her speech was sweet in places (her BJK shoutout was cute), and LOLarious in others. “Havin a G moment”? WTAF ReRe? Give up the fucking cash cow for a few minutes, could ya?

In all seriousness (STFU, I can be serious!), ReRe deserves mucho props for winning her 12th major, and record-breaking 5th AO title. Good for you, bitch.

This year is gonna be EPIC on the WTA Tour. Let the clusterfuck begin.

 

The Battle For The Real #1?

The AO Women’s final is all set up. *drum roll* Serena vs. Justine!

What is it with the ReRe screaming pics? This was the least scary that I found.

ReRe beat Nails is two TB sets. Nails, you kind of suck in TBs. It wasn’t a easy match for Serena but we all know how she is when she’s playing for a slam. Pure guts and will. I think she will have to play better in the final if she wants to win. She looks like a mummy with all the bandages and her movement has not been that great. The injury that she’s carrying has been affecting her and she has a tough costumer in the final.

Well this semi was the total opposite from the other one. JuJu open up the bakery and feed Zheng a bread stick and a bagel. She looked like the Justine of Old. This match went really fast. Justine was bring it and Zheng didn’t change her tactics.

I think, I might be one of the few fans that is really excited about this final. ReRe and JuJu have played 13 times with ReRe leading there H2H 7-6. Amazingly this is the first slam final against each other.  We all know that JuJu and ReRe are amazing players, no one can deny that. But both of them are polarizing figures. There are in the category that you either love them or hate them. I have no idea who’s going to win this. I think maybe Justine. I really don’t know. Who do you guys think is going to win?

I’m Pissed

So everyone I wanted to win last night lost. So I’m going to be real here. I don’t give a fuck who wins the AO now. All I know is that there’s one douche that I don’t want to win . I don’t even have to mention his name, we all know who it is. The dude has enough slams. I’m going to start with the chicks first then with the dudes.

What. a. shit fest? Vee should have won this match. She even served for it. This match was so bad that I keep falling asleep. I took like 5 naps. If someone wants to see what bad tennis is, just watch that craptastic 3rd set. It was a total breakfest and full of errors. What is it with Vee going all headcasey at the AO? Last year was Suarez Navarro. This year was Li Na. Nails got it done in the end and becomes the first Chinese Lady ( I took that from Killer Cahill, WTF? She has a name, dude) to make the top 10 so congrats to her.

This was actually a good match. It had nice winners and it had funny moments. I totally thought Vika had this. But this is Serena Effing Williams and she’s playing for a slam. Vika didn’t choke, Serena took it from her. I’m sad, I wanted Vika to win but she did give her all, so I’m proud of this awesome bitch with the Siren song.  She will win a slam in the future of that I’m sure.

Now to the dudes:

Kolya you’re useless

What are you smiling about, you choker? You just lost you idiot.

Like many expected Kolya choked against Fed. Kolya won the first set and was about to go up a double break in the second. Then he went all headcasey started to play like shit. He totally proved that he’s Russian. Fed took like 10  straight games and the rest is history. Fed won in four. Whatevs.

Poor Baby. For those who say that Nole is a pussy for retiring from other slams. Suck it. The boy was sick and brought the Djokohones out. He lost in 5 against Jo and fought till the very end even if he was feeling like crap. So with this Nole misses his chance to be #1 for now. I think he will get #2, still no idea and really don’t care about rankings at the moment.

Congrats to Jo. Let see if you can beat Fed. I don’t think he can to be honest. Still as a proud member of the ABF Club I’ll be rooting for Jo. Allez!

Complete Scores: Here

OOP Thursday: Here

The Most Exciting Thing In Fed’s Match

Well it seems like it. I didn’t see the match. I’m no Fed fan that’s not a secret.  I’m not  going to wake up at an ungodly hour to see Fed spank some poor soul. I only do that with Rafa.  I wake up, start to check the web  really fast looking for pics of the matches. All I start to see is pics of this guy.

Prince William, sigh. He still looking cute even if he’s going bald.

As you can see everyone lost their cool.

Shhhhh, don’t tell anyone that I’m a Fed fan. (Insert British accent)

He took a pic with Fed.  

Also with Serena and her mom. So he’s just a tennis fan just like us. Not really.

Hit For Haiti: Vid Spam

Some kind soul already downloaded the whole thing on You Tube.  The quality is not that great but better than nothing. For those who missed it or want to see it again, this is for you. There are six parts and it’s quite long. Enjoy.

Hit for Haiti event full to the brim of epic win

Some of the best players in the world played a hastily yet brilliantly organised exho to raise funds for the Haiti relief effort in Melbourne on Sunday. Federer, Rafa, Nole, RAndy, Lleyton, Kimmy, ReRe, Slammin Sammy and even Bernard Tomic hit the courts for the worthy cause. Jim Courier acted as chair umpire.

The whole thing brought major LOLz, as the players wore microphones and provided LOLarious commentary.

ReRe and Federer, who were joined on Team Red by Sam and Lleyton.

Some of the quotes from the players had me literally LMAO. I loved this gem from RAndy after he got called for a foot fault: “Did you seriously just call me on a foot fault in a charity match? Oh come on! You don’t wanna do that, Serena’s over there!” XD

Kimmy (who groped Rafa’s thigh the lucky biatch), Rafa, Nole and RAndy were Team Blue. I prefer to think of them as Team Rad though.

Another awesome quote: “You have a sweet touch” – Nole to Rafa after the latter towelled Nole’s fine ass. Win.

Possibly my fave moment from the part with Team RafAndy doubs? Rafa: “Who will serve? Who has better chance of winning the game?” RAndy: “Uh, I’ll serve.” So qt!

Rafole chestbump. 100% pure sex.

Rafole doubs was epic. Yet more proof that they should do it for reals at an actual tournie. Rafa acting all down in the dumps and Nole comforting him was amazeballs. Rafa: “How should I serve now? I have no confidence!” Nole: “I’m here for you Rafa. Vamos.” *dies from the fangirl overload* Also? Rafa being adorbz after missing his first serve; “I don’t wanna show off my new serve yet”. Gah.  After the chestbump, Rafa’s mic had gotten tangled. He took his time fixing it, and when he was done, Federer brought the LOLz with “Rafa, vamos a playa?”  Nice.

Rafa and the event organiser, Roger Federer.

It’s pretty obvious that we here at HSM aren’t exactly big Fedfans. But we give him full credit for organising this. It’s a credit to him. So good for you, TMD. Much love.

Now that the awkward bit is outta the way; Rafa and Federer’s interaction was priceless.  At one point during a match, Rafa hit a beautiful curving forehand. ReRe had wanted to challenge, but Rafa, clearly proud, was having none of it. “Thats the one, that’s the one.” “We’ll challenge anyways” “C’mon Rog, you know I love the banana”. LOL! And Federer’s gem: “Hawkeye doesn’t work anyways!”  His Hawkeye hate cracks me up.

Overall, the event was a roaring success, with over $200,000 raised for the cause. Kudos to Masha who chipped in $10,000 as well. Major applause for the players involved, you are a credit to tennis.

 

 

Hit for Haiti

Tennis stars are coming together to raise money for those affected by the devastating earthquake in Haiti. It’s a truly worthy cause, and tickets will cost just $10, all of which will go directly towards helping victims.

Nole, Rafa, RAndy, Kimmy, ReRe and Slammin Sammy will take part in the special mixed-doubles event, along with Federer.

It was, in fact, Roger who organised the event. Credit where it’s due, he has a great track record when it comes to charitable causes. Good for you, Federer, a most admirable idea.

Kudos to all the players involved. You are a credit to your sport!

Lena kicks ReRe’s injured ass to defend Sydney title

Well now, that’s just awesome!

Elena Dementieva heavily defeated World #1 Serena Williams 6-3, 6-2 earlier today to successfully defend her Sydney title. The match was pretty interesting. One of the standouts in my opinion was Lena’s serve. Every tennis fan worth their salt knows that it’s normally a load of bollocks, but today, it was consistently good. I think she must have worked her cute Russian ass off during the off season, cos even her ball toss is much improved. Good for her. ReRe is definitely carrying a knee injury of some sort, she had strapping on it, and her movement was laboured. But for reals, I think that even without the injury Lena would have won. She was just on today, and has been all week. She always seems to play well Down Under. In truth, she looks great heading into the AO, but I refuse to say more than that in case I jinx her.

ReRe should be good to go at the AO, but whether or not it’s because of her dodgy knee, she hasn’t looked great this week. Her runner’s up speech was total fucking FAIL. Arrogant bitch. One lowlight was: “I’ve never really been runner-up too often, so I dunno what to say…erm yeah.” Jaysus. Yet more proof that money doesn’t buy class. Try taking a leaf out of your sister’s book on how to be gracious in defeat, Serena.

Gah. The Aussie Open can’t come quick enough.

 

Dina actually beats a Top Tenner; Sydney results

Well, would ya look at that.

Dinara won a match against A-Rad earlier today, in what can best be described as a typical WTA shitfest. Dina’s serve was woeful, Aga served for the first set three times and failed everytime, and Radwanska’s attempts volleys were increasingly embarrassing.  On a positive note, Dinara hit a few clean winners, and didn’t look at Zeljko like he was her God. So ya know, that’s an improvement on ’09 for a start. I love Dina, and would love to see her do well.

Tuesday Results:

Women’s Singles – Second round
[1]	Serena Williams (USA)	d		Maria Jose Martinez Sanchez (SPA)	6-1 6-2
[2]	Dinara Safina (RUS)	d		Agnieszka Radwanska (POL)	7-5 6-4
[Q]	Vera Dushevina (RUS)	d		Elena Vesnina (RUS)	6-3 6-4
	Aravane Rezai (FRA)	d	[Q]	Agnes Szavay (HUN)	6-3 7-6(5)
	Dominika Cibulkova (SVK)	d	[3]	Svetlana Kuznetsova	7-5 6-2
[6]	Victoria Azarenka (BLR)	d		Kimiko Date Krumm (JPN)	6-1 5-7 7-5

Men’s Singles – First round
[8]	Benjamin Becker (GER)	d	[Q]	Juan Ignacio Chela (ARG)	6-3 6-3
	Julien Benneteau (FRA)	d		Dudi Sela (ISR)	6-3 6-1
[6]	Viktor Troicki (SRB)	d		Florent Serra (ITA)	7-6(5) 6-4
	Evgeny Korolev (RUS)	d	[5]	Sam Querrey (USA)	6-2 5-7 7-4
	Mardy Fish (USA)	d		Carsten Ball (AUS)	6-4 7-6(4)

Wednesday’s OOP looks awesome, with HSM faves Richard Gasquet, Flavia Pennetta and Aravane Rezai all in action. Also? Vika vs Domi should be epic win;

Sydney, Wednesday 13th 2010 Order Of Play