The Head Bitch Returns To Melbourne

So good to see Masha back on the Melbourne Park practice courts. I missed her so much last year and was so sad that she wasn’t able to defend her title.

She seems happy too. LOVE HER!!

The Douche, The Boring And The Pretty.

Some players are already in Melbourne Park getting ready for the AO. Muzz, Blah, Charlie, Kolya and Jo had been spotted on the practice courts.

Pic Spam Alert!

Look who’s trying to be fun.

Look a total bore and a total douche.

A hot douche.

Still on my shit list.

Someone is trying to get a tan.

Not working.

He’s not my cup of tea, but I know some people love some Jo.  So this is for you.

Just for you Em. Just for you.

Some Brazilian Hotness, While We Wait For The Spanish Ones.

The Heineken Open has started in Auckland, New Zealand.  The top 4 seeds are Spanish players Ferru, Tommy, Ferrero and Almagro. That’s some Spanish hotness right there. Well except Almagro, aka Judas, but 3 out 4 is not bad. Not bad at all. Pico and Jezza will make up for that Spanish Fail. What was I saying? Oh, yeah. Only 3 singles matches were played today, so not much to say- except that my boy Thomaz won another match on hard-courts. *surprised*

It’s still a mystery to me why I find Thomaz so hot. Maybe it’s his awesome clay-court skills. That weird nose, those pretty eyes. I just don’t know! Not that I’m complaining or anything.

Complete Scores: Monday, 11 January 2010

Singles – First Round

[6] J Melzer (AUT) d F Fognini (ITA) 57 63 62

[WC] J Statham (NZL) d [WC] D King-Turner (NZL) 62 75

T Bellucci (BRA) d M Chiudinelli (SUI) 63 63

Doubles – First Round

J Brunstrom (SWE) / J Rojer (AHO) d N Almagro (ESP) / D Ferrer (ESP) 46 63 10-5

[WC] M Daniell (NZL) / H Tecau (ROU) d [WC] J Statham (NZL) / M Statham (NZL) 63 62

OOP: Tuesday, January 12, 2010

You’re Forgiven, Richie.

For killing some hotness. It wasn’t your fault, it was the draw’s fault. Richie beat Feli in the first round of the Medibank International in Sydney, Australia. The score was 61 64. Richie was incredible and Feli was still vacationing.

I love you Feli, but it looked like you didn’t practice at all during the off season. That first set was horrible. Please work on that. I need you to start winning some ATP singles matches. Okay, thanks.

Also Baggy beat Nick Lindahl and his Jew fro, 62 75. Good to have you back, Baggy. Didn’t see the match so no idea what went on.

The Jew Fro is not a good look for you, Nick. Get a hair cut.

Complete Scores: Monday, 11 January 2010

Singles – First Round

[Q] L Mayer (ARG) d [7] I Andreev (RUS) 67(7) 63 76(4) – Saved 5 M.P.

R Gasquet (FRA) d F Lopez (ESP) 61 64

M Baghdatis (CYP) d [WC] N Lindahl (AUS) 62 75

A Seppi (ITA) d [Q] M Matosevic (AUS) 64 64

P Cuevas (URU) d M Llodra (FRA) 62 76(1)

P Starace (ITA) d [Q] F Gil (POR) 61 64

Doubles – First Round

[WC] C Ball (AUS) / S Huss (AUS) d [2] M Fish (USA) / M Knowles (BAH) 01 ret. (Knowles – calf)

S Aspelin (SWE) / P Hanley (AUS) d [WC] P Luczak (AUS) / J Nieminen (FIN) 76(11) 46 10-8

R Hutchins (GBR) / J Kerr (AUS) d E Butorac (USA) / R Ram (USA) 63 26 10-6

OOP: Tuesday, 12 January, 2010

Seed? What’s a Seed?

Something is already in the air in Sydney. Seeds are dropping like flies. The WTA seems to be about 99% more crazy and unpredictable than it was last year- so buckle up.

First it was #7 seed JJ, losing to qualifier Szavay in 3 sets. I just think this picture is hilarious. So full of drama.

FFS, JJ. I’m thisclose to not caring anymore. And you’re supposed to be one of my faves. And are those sweat stains or did she douse herself with water? I don’t get it.

In the next match, because my curse will never wear off, the inevitable happened. #8 seed Bepa retired from her match against Szavay at 3-3 in the first set.

Too effing bad.

#4 seed Caro was up next. A very routine first set had me thinking the match was in the bag for Caro. I was dead wrong. WTA predictions are useless. Li won 2-6 6-3 6-2.

 I wasn’t able to see the match past the first set because the stream cut out for the day, so I’m just wondering what happened. Was Caro crap or was Na on fire? /confused.

The final match of the day was #6 seed Vika, taking on a tough first round opponent, Sabine. Needless to say: I was worried. Again, I was streamless (FU tennis gods!), so I’m not sure exacxly what happened, but I am sure it was hilarious. They split sets, and then 4 straight breaks brought the final set to 2-2. Sabine served for the match at 5-4, but Vika won the next 3 games to take the match 3-6 6-2 7-5.

YES. The seed massacre ended just in time to save Vika. I need this awesome bitch around this week, now that JJ and Caro are gone.

 

Remaining seeds Dina. Serena, Kuz and Lena D are up tomorrow. Any predictions on those matches? I say one will lose.  This seed massacre thing is just too contagious.

Full Sydney Results: WTA

Monday, January 11, 2010

Singles – First Round

Li Na (CHN) d. (4) Caroline Wozniacki (DEN) 26 63 62
(6) Victoria Azarenka (BLR) d. Sabine Lisicki (GER) 36 62 75
(Q) Agnes Szavay (HUN) d. (7) Jelena Jankovic (SRB) 57 61 75
Elena Vesnina (RUS) d. (8) Vera Zvonareva (RUS) 33 ret. (right ankle injury)
Agnieszka Radwanska (POL) d. (Q) Jill Craybas (USA) 60 64
Flavia Pennetta (ITA) d. Samantha Stosur (AUS) 63 61
Dominika Cibulkova (SVK) d. (LL) Timea Bacsinszky (SUI) 76(2) 61
María José Martínez Sánchez (ESP) d. (Q) Varvara Lepchenko (USA) 63 63
Aravane Rezai (FRA) d. (Q) Anna-Lena Groenefeld (GER) 67(3) 62 62
(Q) Vera Dushevina (RUS) d. (WC) Casey Dellacqua (AUS) 62 62
(Q) Kimiko Date Krumm (JPN) d. Nadia Petrova (RUS) 63 57 64

Doubles – First Round
(1) Black/Huber (ZIM/USA) d. (WC) Kirilenko/Safina (RUS/RUS) 62 63
(3) Kleybanova/Schiavone (RUS/ITA) d. Pennetta/Zahlavova Strycova (ITA/CZE) 64 26 107
(4) Groenefeld/King (GER/USA) d. Uhlirova/Voracova (CZE/CZE) 75 64
Granville/Spears (USA/USA) d. Vesnina/Voskoboeva (RUS/KAZ) 63 62

Sydney Tuesday OOP