The Douche, The Boring And The Pretty.

Some players are already in Melbourne Park getting ready for the AO. Muzz, Blah, Charlie, Kolya and Jo had been spotted on the practice courts.

Pic Spam Alert!

Look who’s trying to be fun.

Look a total bore and a total douche.

A hot douche.

Still on my shit list.

Someone is trying to get a tan.

Not working.

He’s not my cup of tea, but I know some people love some Jo.  So this is for you.

Just for you Em. Just for you.

Team USA Will Be Dick-less, Less Boring in Davis Cup

It’s official. According to Peter Bodo (or as I like to call him, Bozo) over at Tennis.com, neither James Blake or Andy Roddick are putting Davis Cup on their schedule this year.

Here’s the article.

I don’t know what Dick and Blah fans will think about this. Maybe it’s a good thing for Andy to stop carrying the team and focus on winning another Grand Slam. Not that I think he can win another, but not having to think about Davis Cup will definitely help his focus.

This is definitely good news for Querrey and Isner fans, though. These guys have been playing very well for a while now, but have never had a chance to shine in DC. (Of course, I’m sure Fish will still be lurking around).

But we all know the biggest winners in this are these guys:

Isner and Sam are less experienced than the Serbian Awesomeness. Without the intimidation factor of Dick (*chuckle*) and without “clay-court specialist” (*snark*) Lames, Team Serbia is looking mighty good to make it into the quarterfinals. I’m sure wherever Nole is, he’s smiling. Ajde!

Fist Pumps For Everybody

Look who won in straight sets. This girl.

The best I’ve seen Anita play in a long, long time. The first serve was great, the forehand and the slice were working. Well, until she was serving for the match. She was up 5-3 in the second, then the nerves started to kick in. Pavs broke back and I started to swear my ass off. I was expecting a 3rd set after that, but thank Sven, she was able to pull out the TB and win the match.

You did your best kid, better luck next time.

Anita’s price for winning and making her first semi final since Indian Wells? Having to play this chick:

I haven’t been able to see JuJu play, but according to reports (aka my Twitter buddies) she hasn’t been playing that fantastic. She won in a 3rd set TB against Czink. It seems Czink was hit by the virus that’s been going around- the “OMFG I’m playing Justine Henin”. Does Anita have a chance against JuJu? I think she does, since anything is possible. I’m a big JuJu fan but Anita needs this more. So I’ll be rooting for Ana as beating Justine would do wonders for her confidence. Even if she loses, it’s still a great result for Anita. Ajde!

Full Brisbane Results WTA: Thursday, January 7, 2010

Singles – Quarterfinals

(1) Kim Clijsters (BEL) d. Lucie Safarova (CZE) 61 06 64

(3) Ana Ivanovic (SRB) d. Anastasia Pavlyuchenkova (RUS) 62 76(6)

Andrea Petkovic (GER) d. (4) Daniela Hantuchova (SVK) 64 62

(WC) Justine Henin (BEL) d. (7) Melinda Czink (HUN) 62 36 76(5)

Doubles – Semifinals

Czink/Parra Santonja (HUN/ESP) d. Rodionova/Rodionova (AUS/RUS) 62 61

Doubles – Quarterfinals

(3) Amanmuradova/Chan (UZB/TPE) d. Pavlyuchenkova/Voskoboeva (RUS/KAZ) 62 61

On the ATP side there where only two singles matches. Defending champion Steps won in straights against Odesnik. The most important thing that happened: Mr. Entertainment took out Mr. Boring. LaMonf beat Blah in 3 sets, so I’m happy about that.

Dude, even his fist pumps are boring

Full Brisbane Results ATP: Thursday, January 7, 2010

Singles – Quarter-finals
[2] R Stepanek (CZE) d W Odesnik (USA) 76(2) 61
[3] G Monfils (FRA) d J Blake (USA) 36 63 64
Doubles – Quarter-finals
[1] L Dlouhy (CZE) / L Paes (IND) d A Fisher (AUS) / S Huss (AUS) W/O (Fisher – knee)
J Melzer (AUT) / P Petzschner (GER) d [3] M Llodra (FRA) / A Ram (ISR) 57 62 10-8
J Chardy (FRA) / M Gicquel (FRA) d T Berdych (CZE) / R Stepanek (CZE) 75 64

Brisbane Results and OOP

The following are the results from Brisbane on Sunday

Kimmy def. Garbin, 6-2, 6-1

Comeback Aussie Alicia def. Makarova, 6-4, 1-6, 6-4

Vania King def. Mama Bammer, 6-4, 6-1

Andrea Petkovic def. Iveta Benesova, 6-7, 6-2, 6-1

Melinda Czink def. Lucie Hradecká, 6-4, 3-6, 6-3

BarbZáhlCová def. Olga Govortsova, 6-4, 6-1.

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There was only one Men’s Doubles match today, with Team BlahDick beating Levinsky and Parrott, 6-2, 6-3.

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Monday’s OOP looks great, with HSM faves Richard Gasquet, Jezza, Jelena Dokic and Pavs all in action, as well as the return of Haley Joel Henin.

Day session (Note: all times are Brisbane local time)
Richard Gasquet (France) v Jarkko Nieminen (Finland)
Jelena Dokic (Australia) v Ana Ivanovic (Serbia)
Justine Henin (Belgium) v Nadia Petrova (Russia)

Night session
Radek Stepanek (Czech Republic) v John Millman (Australia)
Andy Roddick (United States) v Peter Luczak (Australia)

Court 1 starting at 10.30 am

Xavier Malisse (BEL) v Nick Lindahl (AUS)
Arnaud Clement (FRA) v Wayne Odesnik (USA)
Alisa Kleybanova (RUS) v Anastasia Pavlyuchenkova (RUS)
Ashley Fisher/Stephen Huss (AUS) v Kaden Hensel/Bernard Tomic (AUS)
Galina Voskoboeva (KAZ) v Aleksandra Wozniak (CAN)
Daniela Hantuchova (SVK) v Ekaterina Ivanova (RUS)

Court 2 starting at 10.30 am
Julian Reister (GER) v Matt Reid (AUS)
Marc Gicquel (FRA) v Philipp Petzschner (GER)
Casey Dellacqua (AUS) v Sesil Karatantcheva (KAZ)
Shuai Peng (CHN) v Agnes Szavay (HUN)
Casey Dellacqua/Alicia Molik (AUS) v Mariya Koryttseva/Darya Kustova (UKR/BLR)
Melinda Czink/Arantxa Parra Santonja (HUN/ESP) v Klaudia Jans/Alicja Rosoloska (POL)

Court 4 starting at 10.30 am
Oleksandra Dolgopolov Jr (UKR) v Kaden Hensel (AUS)
Marinko Matosevic (AUS) v Matthew Ebden (AUS) or Brydan Klein (AUS)
Lucie Safarova (CZE) v Anna-Lena Groenefeld (GER)
Michael Llodra (FRA) v Harel Levy (ISR)
Timea Bacsinszky/Tathiana Garbin (SUI/ITA) v Anna-Lena Groenefeld/Vania King (GER/USA)

Court 5 starting at 10.30 am
Sara Errani (ITA) v Roberta Vinci (ITA)
Timea Bacsinszky (SUI) v Alla Kudryavtseva (RUS)
Jeremy Chardy (FRA) v Alejandro Falla (COL)
Juan Ignacio Chela (ARG) v Thomaz Bellucci (BRA)
Jurgen Melzer/Philipp Petzschner (AUT/GER) v Martin Damm/Filip Polasek (CZE/SVK)