Andiamo Italia!!! RG Womens Singles QFs

Fratelli d’Italia, l’Italia, s’é desta….*

Aww Franny, you do pure joy so fucking well

Italian BAMF Francesca Schiavone took out porridge in human form Blahroline in straights to become the first Italian chick in over 50 years to reach a Slam semi. Franny will now also reach the Top 10 for the first time in her career.

She’s clearly elated. Badass :’)

She’ll now face…

injured Lena, who beat an even more injured Nads in a shitfest of a match.

Nadia’s loss mean that Lena will now be the only Russian chick in the Top 10. WTF?

However, it also means that my girlcrush, bella Flavietta will re-enter the Top 10!

TWO FIERCE ITALIAN BAMFs IN THE TOP 10!!! FORZA!

Tomorrow’s OOP;

http://www.rolandgarros.com/en_FR/scores/schedule/index.html

*every time I hear Fratelli d’Italia I almost tear up. I’m not even nearly fucking Italian. That is one BAMF national anthem.

This post is dedicated to the lovely Maz and Samy, aka @centac. Fierce Italian bella chica ❤

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Players Party: Full Of Fashion Don’ts and Media Whores.

The Sony Ericsson Open Players Party was last night a bunch of players attended and some people that I really don’t know who the fuck they are. Why do the photographers even bother? So I’m going to ignore the media whores and concentrate on the true stars of the party ( No, I’m not talking about NERD aka the entertainment) I mean the players of course. I’m still full of OMG!, WTFs? and Really? so you will see that a lot of those in this post.

Pic Spam Alert!!!!

I have to say that JJ is looking quite fab. Is like she found the right balance with being glittery and classy. So Yay!

I don’t know if I like or hate Vee’s dress. Okay I hate it, so yeah. It looks like she took the dress from her mom’s closet. Really, Vee?

Someone maybe injured but still looking amazing.  But don’t tell  ReRe, we don’t need her ego to get any bigger.

The Rad sisters. OMG! I’m just…. I’m lost for words. First ARad, I always see her and think Jersey Girl.  Are the Animal Prints still in? URad WTF is with the shoes? Really, pink dress and blue shoes?

Oh, look the Little Mermaid! Or maybe Tinkerbell! WTF are you wearing Caro? It looks like they painted the dress on her. I’m sad to say (not really) that she looked kind of trashy.

Now to the boys and there we don’t give fuck look.

At least try, dude. Whatevs,next.

Muzz looks decent. That’s all I will say.

First of all the caption was hilarious it actually said Rafael Nadal so I needed a few minutes to control my giggle fit. After that I saw what Nando was wearing. Sigh. Really, Nando? You’re so much better than this. No shaving, his hair is a mess (Bring back the Nando Hawk!!) and the clothes. *shakes head* Since when does Nando not take care of himself? WTF is going on?

ARad= Polish Snookie (but not slutty, well that we know of)

Looking good CanWoz. Well, they looked like they had fun.

What do you guys think?

Warning: This post was made during an Insomnia episode. Side effects include extra vitchiness and being extra mean.

Day 1 Randomness

I’m about to leave for the day, but here’s a couple pictures from around the grounds. Now the I’m caught up on my sleep I’ll do more tonight!

The first person I saw, Gonzo, yay! Way hotter in person, and I don’t say that about just anyone 😛

Sven was seemingly everywhere. Well, he is God afterall. He was at Caro’s practices and at the one match I saw a bit of yesterday, Sorana vs de Brito.

I was so happy Sorana won. She was playing really good, smacking the hell out of the ball. I love her outfit too. I didn’t take any pics of de Brito bc she bugged the shit out of me. Her scream/shriek whatever sounds like an animal being tortured, it’s horrible. The people behind me were audibly laughing (loud enough for everyone to hear) everytime she yelped. She sucks.

Everyone was pretty much cheering for Sorana. After the match she stopped to take some pics with fans and Sven walked past her and I think he said “Vamos, Sugar.” Cute. Oh, and of course the Asian Line Judge was there. Of course.

I’ll post all the good stuff tonight. WordPress is being a bitch and not letting me upload anything else. I’ll try to get pics of Ana and Rafa and Nole today.

Edited: All the pictures are Jills property. Don’t take any of them without her permission. Those include all her posts. Thanks.

JJ kicks some bland butt to win her maiden IW title

Well, I am a very happy Vitch this evening. It’s no secret that I’m a Jelena Jankovic KAD, and bitch got shit done today, defeating Denmark’s Caroline Wozniacki 6-2,6-4 to win the BNP Paribas Open.

Le sigh. I love seeing her happy like that.

Anyways, she really played a great match. Her groundstrokes were awesome and, as per usual, her defensive skills were fucking amazing. Girl looked to be in really great shape.

Blahroline didn’t play badly. She was simply outplayed and outclassed by JJ in almost all departments. (JJ had 4 DFs to Caro’s 0, and, let’s face it, Caro looked way hotter. Tough I did like JJ’s ensemble, for once.) As my commie said, “Wozniacki is looking like a poor man’s Jankovic today.” How very true that was. Nevertheless, congrats to Wozniacki on becoming the new World #2.

Fierce bitch. I know that the fact I love JJ seems to make me an outsider amongst our HSMers and the awesome peeps that we chat to on Twitter. But I couldn’t give a flying fuck. I adore her. She was back to her bubbly, glittery self in the trophy presentation.

I am truly delighted for her. As Sveta once said, JJ, fuck the haters. You are the shit.

AJDE!

 

Meanwhile, In The Rafa-Less Side Of The Draw…

Hey…remember me? Your friendly neighborhood snarker/tennis stalker/ Fed-hater? OK, good. Apologize for not posting since forever, but it’s really my chronic laziness syndrome, and I can’t help that I’m afflicted with it. Going to try to post more, especially next week from Miami. Anyway, here’s the results recap from yesterday’s Rafa-less action:

The women’s semis were today. I confess I only watched the end of the second one. I’m starting to feel a little existential angst about the absurdity of the women’s draw. Yeah I know, in the end we do have two of the top women’s seeds in the final, but at this point that’s almost weirder to me than if it was 2 randoms. Especially since neither finalist has had very good results this year til now.

I picked Stosur in the tipping game, so of course she lost. Apparently JJ is playing really well.

And she’s got her last name on her racquet in case she forgets who she is or what her racquet looks like. Which is, you know, possible with her. JJ, would a little consistency kill you? I mean, lose your first match to Sevastova in Monterrey and now you’re in a Premier Mandatory final the following week? At least Ana is consistent, just sayin.

I caught the end of the A-Rad/Caro semi. Obviously lots of long rallies and some moonballing going on there, but I’m not hating on Caro. At least she didn’t lose early like everyone else who was picked to win this.

I used to be more of a JJ fan, but recently she’s started to bother me and I don’t know why. Too many stories about her being a bitch to fans, I guess. So I’m on Team Caro (or Team Viro, or Team Twitter) for the final.

Now on to the men. The first quarterfinal was basically lame. I mean I love Tommy to death, but he’s got to try something else against Dick bc whatever he’s been doing the last 11 matches is clearly not working. It’s possible he was still ill, but Dick was playing really well and was very focused. I think he thinks  he can win this tournament.

You’ve got a long way to go buddy. I mean, he really shouldn’t even be in the semis. It should be Fed. But Marcos took care of that (Sven bless him). Thing is, I actually think Marcos could have beaten Dick (heh), whereas Tommy clearly can’t. At any rate, Dick should enjoy being in the semis unexpectedly, because today he plays a guy he’s never beat.

This guy:

Robin Bo Carl dominated Muzz from the beginning. I love his game. Whatevs, I don’t care what his forehand looks like when he’s swinging it, I just care that he hits it hard and deep. I’m not a tennis technique connoisseur, people, I’m a tennis fast-food-oligist. Just give me want I want, I don’t care how you made it, that type of thing.

Where was I? Oh, yeah the DOMINATION. I don’t dislike Muzz anymore, but that was really fun to watch. Part of what I love about players like RBC, and Berd, and Nando, is that you never know what to expect. But when they’re on it’s amazing. Sod is 2-0 against Dick, once in indoor carpet and once on hardcourts. And that was a few years ago before Sod became a top 10 player. So in other words, bring it.

P.S. I honestly don’t see what so evil about a guy that tweets about Cheesecake Factory, jelly beans, and is ecstatically happy about his new remote control helicopter. I mean, really. It’s kinda adorbs. I think I’d have a hard time even hating Fed if he was doing that.

Oh, I almost forgot the doubles! We’ve got the EPICNESS that is Wild Card team Rafa and Marc! in the final!!!! And last night was the other dubs semi, new-force-to-be-reckoned-with-dubs-team Quizner (Querrey & Isner) vs old standbys of awesomeness Ziki and Daniel.

And Ziki and Daniel won! Which is better for Rafa and Marc, I think. But at least either way, someone awesome is winning the doubles title. So IW has done something right for sure. And it’s going to be on TV! Vamos!

You Better Not Fuck It Up, Rafa.

Yesterday at IW was a really good day if you were a Rafa fan. His draw got a lot easier. Some ppl are already giving him the title. I’m not one of those ppl. I believe in taking it one match at the time. There still dangerous players in the draw. Who really though that Fed was going to lose to Baggy? Some ppl where hopeful  *ahem* Jills. My point is that you never know with tennis; sometimes anything can happen. Anyway… now let’s see the results, shall we?

Rafa beat Tree in 3 sets, 75 36 63. It was the first time they played and I was frazzled to no end. Tree is like an improved version of Dr. Ivo. His serve is just as good, he has better ground strokes and volleys, and I would totally jump his bones because he’s hot. Both Rafa and Tree were playing great in that 1st set. Rafa had 0 UFEs, yes ZERO. Rafa was playing great; I totally thought he was going to win in straights with the way he was playing. Then he totally brainfarted DFing 2 straight times (those were his first UFEs), and Tree hit an awesome winner giving him BPs.  Of course Tree took the gift that Rafa was giving him. Then the set was pretty much over because, well, we all know how it is with big servers. Then, in the 3rd set, Tree began to tire. Rafa does that to you. Rafa broke him and held serve a couple of times. Rafa was really pumped. The End. FYI, Rafa and Marc! keep kicking ass in doubles. They won.

Now the reason why Rafa’s draw got a lot easier.

This guy lost. I’ve been saying that Nole was playing like shit the whole week. He lost to Mr. Clean,  75 63. Yes, he lost to Old Man Ljubicic of all ppl and in straights.  I just saw a little bit of the match because those fuckers at the IW organization decided that it was a great idea to put Nole and Rafa on at the same time. It seems Mr. Clean took a tennis viagra and if Nole was playing like he was playing in his 2 previous matches, I totally get the result.  I’m kind of worried for Serbia in DC, it’s going to be a really hard tie against the Croats. He lost to the oldest tennis player in Croatia, ffs. Moving on.

Berdy beat Vik, 61 63. He’s Rafa’s next opponent. I really don’t know what to think. I can’t say how he’s been playing from what I saw. Vik had played 1 game before this match. Enjoy the free points and easy money, Vik. I didn’t see the match with Nando but from reports it seems Nando was playing crappy. Rafa hasn’t lost to Berdy I think since 2006. Still frazzled. I’m a KAD what can I say?

Tommy beat Fed Killer Baggy in 3 sets, 75 06 64. That bagel totally has a explanation. It seems Tommy has a big tummy ache. He has “the runs” like some commie said. So he better drink a lot of Pepto Bismol before his next match. He has to play this guy:

Dick beat Melzer, 76(5) 64. He has been playing great. Fed is out of his quarter, no chance for another loss from Fed’s hands. So he must be super pumped. This is a golden opportunity for Dick.

Someone finally got rid of GarLo the bracket ruiner. That someone was Pico. I so want Pico to make the semis. Avenge Nole, Pico! He plays Mr. Clean next.

Sod beat Jo,  63 64. It seems Sod owns Jo’s ass and I really don’t get it. The match seem super fast. Sod just cruised. WTF Jo?

Sod plays Muzz next. He won by retirement against Judas, 62 10 ret.. It seems Judas has an ankle injury. Well at least Judas got rid of Blah. Now to the chicks.

There were only two WTA matches. Remember when I said that I thought Lena was going to to win IW?

Well of course she lost to ARad,64 63. Proving once again that you can’t trust Lena and that WTA predictions are useless. ARad hasn’t lost a set and she keeps being ignored.  Her next opponent?

Caro. She beat adorable Jie, 64 46 61. Can I get a moment of silence for my WTA tennis pool team? There’s a lot in line for Caro in the match against ARad. Not only would she make the final,  she would become World #2, her highest ranking to date. I love Kiri but it seems Stella McCartney made the right choice by dumping Kiri for Caro. Even if the clothes looked better on Kiri, ppl are finally seeing her designs.

Full Results: Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Men’s Singles – Fourth Round
[20] I Ljubicic (CRO) d [2] N Djokovic (SRB) 75 63
[3] R Nadal (ESP) d [15] J Isner (USA) 75 36 63
[4] A Murray (GBR) d N Almagro (ESP) 64 10 ret. (ankle)
[6] R Soderling (SWE) d [9] J Tsonga (FRA) 63 64
[7] A Roddick (USA) d[22] J Melzer (AUT) 76(5) 64
[18] T Robredo (ESP) d [27] M Baghdatis (CYP) 75 06 64
[19] T Berdych (CZE) d [29] V Troicki (SRB) 61 63
[21] J Monaco (ARG) d G Garcia-Lopez (ESP) 36 62 61
Ladies’ Doubles – Quarterfinals
[2] C Wozniacki (DEN) d [18] J Zheng (CHN) 64 46 61
[5] A Radwanska (POL) d [4] E Dementieva (RUS) 64 63
Men’s Doubles – Quarterfinals
[6] S Aspelin (SWE) / P Hanley (AUS) d J Brunstrom (SWE) / J Rojer (AHO) 63 63
[WC] M Lopez (ESP) / R Nadal (ESP) d M Llodra (FRA) / A Ram (ISR) 62 64
J Isner (USA) / S Querrey (USA) d I Karlovic (CRO) / D Vemic (SRB) 63 64
Ladies’ Doubles – Quarterfinals
[6] B Mattek-Sands (USA) / Z Yan (CHN) d [2] N Llagostera Vives (ESP) / M Martinez Sanchez (ESP) 76(3) 16 10-5
[3] N Petrova (RUS) / S Stosur (AUS) d I Benesova (CZE) / B Zahlavova Strycova (CZE) 26 62 10-7

Masha, Monfils out; TMD, Blahroline through

Yeah. So yesterday at IW was pretty much total fail. HSM faves Masha, Evgeny, Ferru, Monfils, MaKiri and Bally (among others) were all knocked out. While douchenags that we’re not toofond of gave us all hope by losing sets only to come back and win. Yeah, I am talking about you know who.

Masha lost to the Jay Zizzle, in a truly shiteous match, in three sets

Le sigh. Monfils lost to Simon Greul, who is now totally shitlisted til further notice

I swear, this wasn’t a bitchy photo selection on my part. Twas the best of the lot. I’m actually serious. She ousted Kiri

All results:

Men’s Singles – Third Round [29] V Troicki (SRB) d [5] N Davydenko – w/o (broken left wrist)

Men’s Singles – Second Round

[1] R Federer (SUI) d V Hanescu (ROU) 63 67(5) 61

 [4] A Murray (GBR) d A Seppi (ITA) 64 64

 [6] R Soderling (SWE) d E Korolev (KAZ) 62 64

[7] A Roddick (USA) d [Q] Y Lu (TPE) 64 64

[9] J Tsonga (FRA) d [Q] M Matosevic (AUS) 61 63

S Greul (GER) d [12] G Monfils (FRA) 16 62 63

J Blake (USA) d [13] D Ferrer (ESP) 61 64

D Sela (ISR) d [14] R Stepanek (CZE) 64 16 62

[18] T Robredo (ESP) d S Stakhovsky (UKR) 36 63 75

[22] J Melzer (AUT) d [WC] D Nalbandian (ARG) 64 61

N Almagro (ESP) d [23] I Karlovic (CRO) 75 76(5)

[24] A Montanes (ESP) d [Q] R Mello (BRA) 36 64 64

[27] M Baghdatis (CYP) d A Clement (FRA) 76(7) 61

[28] F Lopez (ESP) d P Mathieu (FRA) 36 63 64

T de Bakker (NED) d [30] J Tipsarevic (SRB) 32 ret. (abdominal strain)

M Russell (USA) d [32] I Andreev (RUS) 46 63 62

 Men’s Doubles – Second Round M Llodra (FRA) / A Ram (ISR) d J Tipsarevic (SRB) / V Troicki (SRB) w/o (Tipsarevic – abdominal strain) Men’s Doubles – First Round [1] D Nestor (CAN) / N Zimonjic (SRB) d E Butorac (USA) / R Ram (USA) 63 64 T Berdych (CZE) / P Kohlschreiber (GER) d [2] B Bryan (USA) / M Bryan (USA) 76(4) 75 [WC] M Lopez (ESP) / R Nadal (ESP) d [3] L Dlouhy (CZE) / L Paes (IND) 64 36 10-6 [6] S Aspelin (SWE) / P Hanley (AUS) d J Kerr (AUS) / F Polasek (SVK) 75 63 F Lopez (ESP) / F Verdasco (ESP) d [WC] M Ancic (CRO) / M Fish (USA) 76(9) 63

Women’s Singles – Third Round

[2] C Wozniacki (DEN) d [32] M Kirilenko (RUS) 60 63

[4] E Dementieva (RUS) d K Flipkens (BEL) 64 62

[5] A Radwanska (POL) d [31] G Dulko (ARG) 61 60

[18] J Zheng (CHN) d [10] M Sharapova (RUS) 63 26 63

[11] M Bartoli (FRA) d J Craybas (USA) 62 60

[19] A Rezai (FRA) d [15] F Schiavone (ITA) 67(4) 76(2) 64

[16] N Petrova (RUS) d S Peng (CHN) 61 75

[WC] A Molik (AUS) d [Q] E Baltacha (GBR) 60 62

Women’s Doubles – Second Round [2] N Llagostera Vives (ESP) / M Martinez Sanchez (ESP) d G Dulko (ARG) / F Pennetta (ITA) 75 76(4) I Benesova (CZE) / B Zahlavova Strycova (CZE) d [5] A Kleybanova (RUS) / F Schiavone (ITA) 57 75 10-1 [6] B Mattek-Sands (USA) / Z Yan (CHN) d [WC] T Garbin (ITA) / J Jankovic (SRB) 64 46 10-5