Australian Open Day 5: ATP

I decided to do two separate posts today because there is too much to process. I’ll post about the WTA later.

Today on the ATP side there were  upsets, five setters and scares.

It looks like he’s waiting for a kiss. So cute.

Well the day started with Feli vs Dick. Feli was playing really well and won the first set. He actually gave a good fight so I’m proud of him. He was also wearing just a jock strap and you could kind of see his ass when he started sweating. Feli is always giving the fangirls what they want. Anyway, he lost in 4 at the end.

Is it me or is Dick looking Manorexic? Eat a sandwich, dude.

Dick will play Gonzo. He beat former Russian and new representative of the Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan Korolev in 5 sets.

Who keeps being injured, playing like shit and winning? DelPo. He won in 4 sets but got bageled in the second by Mayer. WTF? I have a feeling that his run might be coming to a end. He will play his clone next, Marin.

Marin beat Stan again in 4 sets and is looking really good. We all know that Marin is able to pull the upset and his game is quite similar to DelPo’s. I really want to see that match.

Talking about upsets. Hagrid keeps winning and kicking ass. He beat LaMonf in 4. His prize?

Playing this dude. Muzz cruised against Serra. He’s been quietly making his way through the draw. He’s been playing rather well (or his opponents are not that great.)  I haven’t seen him play, so idk. I saved the best for last.

Rafa beat the Techno King and resident of my shit list Kohls. I still haven’t forgiven him for beating Nole at the French. Rafa beat him in four. Rafa was up 2 sets to none and then this German Douche decided that he still wanted to play and not let me sleep by winning the 3rd set. Then I started to swear my ass off at 6 am in the morning. I knew Rafa was going to win but I was still scared.  Hey, I’m a KAD. In that 4th set I was really frazzled, Kohls gave Rafa a really hard time. Rafa’s next opponent?

The man with the serve from hell, Dr. Ivo. I’m already frazzled. Dr. Ivo beat his fellow country man Mr. Clean. I think everyone hates to see their faves play this wannabe rapper. I expect a couple of TBs and I hate TBs- they’re not good for my nerves. To help the other Rafa fans and I calm down, I’m posting a shirtless pic of Rafa:

Yum. Much better.


Australian Open: Day 3

Yeah, I know we didn’t do a post about day 2. Sorry about that, but nothing exciting really happened. Fed lost a set to Igor and the commies thought it was the end of the world. Serena beat URad to the ground. So, let’s see what happened in day 3.

Today it was a really long day at the AO. There where a couple of 5 setters. One of those was DelPo vs Blah. I didn’t see the match since I needed some sleep. So WTF happened? Was Blah playing great or it has something to do with DelPo’s much talked wrist injury? Anyway, DelPo finally won 10-8 in the fifth. Thank Sven that Blah sucks in 5 setters, the name Lames Flake didn’t come out of nowhere.

The other epic 5 setter was Marin vs. that little Punk Tomic. Good for Tomic, he gave a good fight in front of the home crowd. The match ended at 2:30 am Sydney time. I’ll be sure to catch the repeat, no I won’t. Since those fuckers at ESPN2 didn’t show the match. I wanted to see the 5th set but got Mike and Mike in the Morning. Really nice ESPN2, you have like 4 other channels, ffs. Couldn’t you put that show in one of those?

Rafa  cruised against Lacko. Didn’t see much of the match, you know since  Dick and Hagrid are more important because there Americans. FU ESPN2 for cockbloking the match because of your American Bias. At least Dick was playing my boy Thomaz so I got some eye candy. But Hagrid was playing some Irish dude with no neck that looked like a Leprechaun. BTW, congrats to Emma  really nice for your country man, he made the main draw and got some nice cash.

On the WTA side the match that everyone wanted to see was the Lena vs JuJu match. The best 2nd round match ever according to ESPN2 *eyeroll*. I totally though that Lena was going to win. Since you know she beat Serena last week and was playing really well. So, I was burned again by Lena like she has done many times before. Justine won in straights, but it was a close match.

I also threw my hands in the air. I won’t trust Lena ever again. I think I finally learned my lesson.

Full Wednesday Results: Here

Thursday’s OOP: Here  

Aussie Open: Day 1 (Fuck You Rain)

The AO kicked off today in strange fashion (and I’m not just referring to Masha’s dress). As opposed to the usual heat and sun we’re used to seeing on TV, Melbourne was rainy and chilly today. Many of the matches were cancelled, so the OOP will be insane tomorrow. I know that the AO has typically been the “surprise” slam, where anything can happen. But I don’t think anyone expected Kiri to beat Masha in the first match on Rod Laver.

She was just so consistent. She was hitting as hard (and shrieking almost as loud) as Masha. Of course it didn’t hurt that Sven was in her players box with Igor. Sven makes things happen. Maybe a bit of the Sven awesome will rub off on Igor and he can beat Fed tomorrow. Hey, I can dream.

I love Masha but it’s just as well that we don’t have to look at the dress for 2 weeks. A photographer tried to take a picture of Masha’s fug “Avatar/fucking rainforest” dress and it was the last picture they ever took.

Here are the other happenings from Monday:

Dick stopped, dropped and rolled his way to an easy win over Thiemo de Bakker.

Muzz failed to give me my dream triple bagel match, by losing 4 games to Kevin Anderson. Pffft. But he did give us this:


One of the best things that happened was that Delpo totally went off on an umpire. Well, he was nice about it, he didn’t belittle the person like Roddick does. But I’ve never seen him argue with an ump to that extent.

It was awesome.

Oh, and Kuz took the “towel over head” thing to a whole new level.

Flavs came close to losing to Chakky before she woke up. Does she not have a sponsor now? Did she get these clothes at Macy’s or something?

Speaking of clothes: why oh why.  To be honest, the shorts weren’t as bad to me as the see-through jacket he walked out on court in. But as long as the fug doesn’t affect his game, it’s all good in the end, right?

Rafa took out “Kendrick’s evil douchy twin” (thanks TennisLuvah) 7-6 (0), 6-1, 6-4.

I couldn’t let Muzz be your last shirtless image. I do have a sense of decency.

Full Monday Results Here

Tuesday OOP Here

Kooyong: Aboriginal Word For “Heaven”

OK I just made that up. But it *could* be true. Regardless, Kooyong is just full of sexy this week. Day 1 kicked off with all the matches going exactly how I wanted them to.

Delpo took out Ljuby 6-3 6-3.

Nole got revenge for Halle and Wimbly by beating Tommy 6-2 6-3.

I really like the kit and the hair. Especially the facial hair. *DBO*

Then Nando took out Gonzo 7-5 6-1. I’m very happy about this result. I think Nando’s going to do great during the AO playing like this.

But this outfit is just awful. The green part of his shorts puff out and it looks dumb. The shoes are bad too. Hopefully fug outfit= awesome season. VAMOS.

The day ended with Jo taking out Robin Bo Carl 7-6(0) 6-1. Though I like both, I’m glad Jo won because he needs a win more than RBC. And he played super-well. I guess that wrist really is healed.

Good results!

Here’s the OOP for Thursday:

Play starts at 11:00 AM

Gonzo vs Haas followed by
NOLE VS NANDO followed by
Robin Bo Carl vs Ljuby followed by


Crowd Bonus Match: Muzz vs Sam Q (*snicker*)