… Rocking During The Night.

No, I’m not counting the Kleybs/Suarez Navarro match. I think the only person that was pissed that TC didn’t show the match was Sveta. She made it very clear on Twitter. Well it’s no secret that we really don’t like Fed here. So every loss is a celebration. I don’t care if someone in the comments starts with the records, or the “this is not a slam, so what.” A Fed loss is a Fed loss and we enjoy them. I saw the whole match; stayed up till really late to watch it. I was thinking WTF am I doing watching this Fed match when I could be sleeping? Something kept me awake. Maybe the fates wanted me to see this live.  Thank You, Fates!First let’s give credit where it’s due, even if Fed didn’t. Yes, he didn’t give any credit to Baggy in his press conference and  ppl keep asking why we think that Fed is a total  douche. Baggy played great and showed heart. He saved 3 Mps, 2 in the second set and 1 in the 3rd. This is the first time since the Rome 2006 final against Rafa that Fed lost a match after having MPs.  Baggy is a super talented player that has had really bad luck with injuries. I will keep remembering the awesome winner that gave Baggy BP. That was the point of the match for me, so amazing.

The match was really close: 57 75 76(4). I thought it was over when Fed broke Bags in the 3rd. I wasn’t getting my hopes up. I wasn’t a believer till I saw Baggy with MPs. How many times have we seen Fed about to lose and somehow the fucker escapes? So I was being cautious with my feelings. Now to the hilarious stuff, Fed’s box.

Of course Fed’s boyfriend and fanboy Gavin was there with his awesome wife Gwen. Mirka of course was texting.

Gwen was so into the match. And hey look, Elisabeth Shue! The new urban legend is that Gwen jinxes Fed. She was at the 2008 SW19 final, last year’s IW match when Fed lost to Muzz, and now this year. I think Gwen hates watching Fed’s matches as much as the vitches and every ABF club member. So I officially want to send her a invitation to join the ABF club. You’re welcome anytime, Gwen, and keep going to Fed matches and jinxing him.

I think the only reason that she goes to these matches is because Gavin drags her and she seems to really like Mirka. They both are mothers, like to shop and are married to douches so they have that in common.

Authors Note: I just hope Karma doesn’t come and bite me in the ass later because of this post. I’m looking at you Rafael Nadal Parera. You better fucking win.

Hit for Haiti Part Deux

Friday night there was the charity exo Hit for Haiti at IW. I know everyone is talking about what went on between Andre and Pete but I’m just so over it. So I’m just going to focus on the good. Great Legends playing tennis for a good cause. What if some of them are total douches? Douches have hearts too.  Andre owned the exo even if team Rafandre lost they win at life. He knows how to entertain the public.  Always the showman that’s why ppl love him. The Ladies match bored me, Steffi save it just by being her awesome self.  So here it goes.

Pic Spam Alert!!!

This maybe one of the most awesome pics in tennis history. Pete and Fed are douches but they’re legends. I give credit where it’s due.

Team Douche special hand shake.

Team Awesome high five.

Hugging it out.

Can someone explain what it says on Rafa’s shirt? Please.

It seems Fed and Andre were just as confused- but got an explanation from Rafa himself.

Rafa looks so fucking excited. Rafadorable!

I can’t get over this beautiful pic and Fed’s face. It’s rather cute I must admit.

The Queen and King of Tennis. I love them so much.

Fedouche defeats Muzz for 16th slam

OK, I’mma make this quick and painless. Much like the match. Except the match fucking sucked.

TMD won the Aussie Open final 6-3, 6-4, 7-6.

He beat Britain’s finest, MAndy in the final, who had 5 set points in the 3rd set.

Poor Muzz was upset. He was also bringing the LOLz; “I can cry like Roger, it’s a shame I can’t play like him.”

Congrats to TMD and his fans.

Fuck the AO. It was full of FAIL this year. Roll on Masters 1000 tournies.

Go Muzz!!!!

The men’s final is set up *drum roll* Fedouche vs. Muzz

Can Fed stop being in slam finals? It’s like totally killing the joy of tennis for me and many people that I know. Well except for those that worship at his altar. By now we all know that Muzz beat Cilic in 4 and has been resting for 2 days. Fed, as expected, totally bitch-slapped Jo all around the court in the semis. Fed just knows how to play him. Come on, it took Jo 5 sets to beat a sick Nole. So I totally knew this was going to happen. Now I will have a small imaginary chat with Andrew Murray;

Andy, I’m not really your fan. You totally seem like a nice dude, boring but nice. Being a fellow Rafa fan gives you extra Brownie points. I think your time to win a slam has finally come. So you need to get those Scottish balls out and win this shit. You’re not a slam final virgin anymore. You weren’t fucked over by the schedule because of a storm and the USTA giving Fed preferential treatment. You have beaten Fed quite a few times. Do it when it really counts, at a slam.  It’s your time man, it’s your time.

So I bring the Scottish flag out and I’m going to get a mild case of Ginge Fever just for this final.

Come On Murray!!

That’s how it goes, right?

I’m Pissed

So everyone I wanted to win last night lost. So I’m going to be real here. I don’t give a fuck who wins the AO now. All I know is that there’s one douche that I don’t want to win . I don’t even have to mention his name, we all know who it is. The dude has enough slams. I’m going to start with the chicks first then with the dudes.

What. a. shit fest? Vee should have won this match. She even served for it. This match was so bad that I keep falling asleep. I took like 5 naps. If someone wants to see what bad tennis is, just watch that craptastic 3rd set. It was a total breakfest and full of errors. What is it with Vee going all headcasey at the AO? Last year was Suarez Navarro. This year was Li Na. Nails got it done in the end and becomes the first Chinese Lady ( I took that from Killer Cahill, WTF? She has a name, dude) to make the top 10 so congrats to her.

This was actually a good match. It had nice winners and it had funny moments. I totally thought Vika had this. But this is Serena Effing Williams and she’s playing for a slam. Vika didn’t choke, Serena took it from her. I’m sad, I wanted Vika to win but she did give her all, so I’m proud of this awesome bitch with the Siren song.  She will win a slam in the future of that I’m sure.

Now to the dudes:

Kolya you’re useless

What are you smiling about, you choker? You just lost you idiot.

Like many expected Kolya choked against Fed. Kolya won the first set and was about to go up a double break in the second. Then he went all headcasey started to play like shit. He totally proved that he’s Russian. Fed took like 10  straight games and the rest is history. Fed won in four. Whatevs.

Poor Baby. For those who say that Nole is a pussy for retiring from other slams. Suck it. The boy was sick and brought the Djokohones out. He lost in 5 against Jo and fought till the very end even if he was feeling like crap. So with this Nole misses his chance to be #1 for now. I think he will get #2, still no idea and really don’t care about rankings at the moment.

Congrats to Jo. Let see if you can beat Fed. I don’t think he can to be honest. Still as a proud member of the ABF Club I’ll be rooting for Jo. Allez!

Complete Scores: Here

OOP Thursday: Here

The Most Exciting Thing In Fed’s Match

Well it seems like it. I didn’t see the match. I’m no Fed fan that’s not a secret.  I’m not  going to wake up at an ungodly hour to see Fed spank some poor soul. I only do that with Rafa.  I wake up, start to check the web  really fast looking for pics of the matches. All I start to see is pics of this guy.

Prince William, sigh. He still looking cute even if he’s going bald.

As you can see everyone lost their cool.

Shhhhh, don’t tell anyone that I’m a Fed fan. (Insert British accent)

He took a pic with Fed.  

Also with Serena and her mom. So he’s just a tennis fan just like us. Not really.

Hit For Haiti: Vid Spam

Some kind soul already downloaded the whole thing on You Tube.  The quality is not that great but better than nothing. For those who missed it or want to see it again, this is for you. There are six parts and it’s quite long. Enjoy.