Hotness of the Week Chicks Edition; Flavia Pennetta

So, anyone who reads HSM regularly, or follows me on Twitter, will know that I have a total girlcrush on Miss Flavia Pennetta, or Bella Flavia, as I like to call her.

For starters, she has amazing legs

She just embodies typical Italian beauty and grace

Her smile makes my heart all fluttery, and she’s a chick FFS!

She has had sex on a tennis court before, as she admitted in an interview.  I want. With her.

She can “smize” amazingly well. Tyra Banks and her fivehead would approve

She has great fashion sense (love those shoes), but look at that smile! I love it!

She is a BAMF. She once said she’d “have a quickie with Marat Safin.” See? She’s just like us!

Le sigh. She really is bella.

When she was having a hard time personally in 2007, she didn’t let it ruin her. Hells no, she went away, worked on her tennis, and became the first Italian Chick to crack the Top 10. Awesome!

What is there left to say? She’s Italian, beautiful, sexy, cute, has a great sense of humour, would bone Maratski, is bubbly and vivacious, and a damn good tennis player.

I would totally marry Flavs and have her Italian babies. Le sigh.  She’s the only chick I’d ever say that about.

Forza Bella Flavia!





Yesterday was a dark day at IW. There was only a little bit of life and hope left. Some Serbs and a Spanish dude that I flove with all my heart had to something with that. Let’s see what happened. I will start like always with the good news.

Rafa cruised against Ancic winning, 62 62. Good to have Mario back and happy that he lost *Merciless KAD* Also good news; Rafa knows how fugly his shorts are and said that he will be only wearing them this week. Rafa, next time ask for a sample of the finished product, not just the sketches. Sometimes things on paper look better than in person, this is one of those cases.

The good news about Nole is that he won. The bad news, he keeps playing like shit. He beat Kohls 63 26 76(3). He saved like 3 MPs, not sure since I was totally frazzled and pissed. Nole save some of that shitty play if you play Rafa in the semis. Kthxbye.

I had to post this pic. I’m still cracking up, it’s just so JJ. Well she won, but she also played like shit. She beat Errani, 26 76(6) 64.  Her serve was crap, I know her serve is not the best but  this was too much. Where is her awesome backhand down the line? I think I saw it somewhere but it landed in the doubles alley.

Now to the bloodbath of players that I like or love. Here is the victims list.

Nando, Oh Nando. He got trashed by Berdy,60 63. Yep, that’s a bagel. WTF Nando? Sigh.

Vika WTF happened? Sigh. She lost to Martinez Sanchez in straights,76(4) 62.

Bella Flavi lost to Peer,64 67(4) 61. This one is more for Emma than for me.  Sorry, vitch.

Kim lost to Kleybs. Kleybs!!! It seems Klebs likes to beat nice girls that are slam champions. You’re not Ana, Kim!! The score 64 16 76(4) and that last set TB was a total WTF? I still don’t know what went on.

Juanqui lost to Pico,76(2) 36 63. I hate when players that I like meet so early at a tourney. I love Pico but I kind of love Juanqui more, it’s the Spanish thing. I’m okay with this loss. I will give a couple of reasons. Juanqui has won a couple of titles and Pico needed it more. The most important reason? We where left with this:

Hotness and eternally hard nipples. YUM!

Full Results: Monday, March 15, 2010

Men’s Singles – Third Round
[2] N Djokovic (SRB) d [25] P Kohlschreiber (GER) 63 26 76(3)
[3] R Nadal (ESP) d M Ancic (CRO) 62 62
[19] T Berdych (CZE) d [10] F Verdasco (ESP) 60 63
[21] J Monaco (ARG) d [11] J Ferrero (ESP) 76(2) 36 63
[15] J Isner (USA) d [17] S Querrey (USA) 76(3) 64
[20] I Ljubicic (CRO) d [Q] B Dabul (ARG) 62 63
G Garcia-Lopez (ESP) d [26] T Bellucci (BRA) 46 62 61
Women’s Singles – Third Round
[28] M Martinez Sanchez (ESP) d [3] V Azarenka (BLR) 76(4) 62
[6] J Jankovic (SRB) d S Errani (ITA) 26 76(6) 64
[8] S Stosur (AUS) d [25] A Pavlyuchenkova (RUS) 63 60
[17] S Peer (ISR) d [9] F Pennetta (ITA) 64 67(4) 61
[12] V Zvonareva (RUS) d A Sevastova (LAT) 62 63
[13] Y Wickmayer (BEL) d R Vinci (ITA) 61 36 63
[23] A Kleybanova (RUS) d [14] K Clijsters (BEL) 64 16 76(4)
C Suarez Navarro (ESP) d [27] A Szavay (HUN) 64 36 61
Men’s Doubles – Second Round

[1] D Nestor (CAN) / N Zimonjic (SRB) d J Blake (USA) / A Roddick (USA) 64 36 10-7
[6] S Aspelin (SWE) / P Hanley (AUS) d J Benneteau (FRA) / J Tsonga (FRA) 76(4) 63
I Karlovic (CRO) / D Vemic (SRB) d D Ferrer (ESP) / A Montanes (ESP) 63 46 12-10
Women’s Doubles – Second Round
[1] C Black (ZIM) / L Huber (USA) d A Amanmuradova (UZB) / D Kustova (BLR) 62 62
[3] N Petrova (RUS) / S Stosur (AUS) d A Hlavackova (CZE) / L Hradecka (CZE) 64 60
K Peschke (CZE) / K Srebotnik (SLO) d N Grandin (RSA) / A Spears (USA) 61 62

Aussie Open: Day 1 (Fuck You Rain)

The AO kicked off today in strange fashion (and I’m not just referring to Masha’s dress). As opposed to the usual heat and sun we’re used to seeing on TV, Melbourne was rainy and chilly today. Many of the matches were cancelled, so the OOP will be insane tomorrow. I know that the AO has typically been the “surprise” slam, where anything can happen. But I don’t think anyone expected Kiri to beat Masha in the first match on Rod Laver.

She was just so consistent. She was hitting as hard (and shrieking almost as loud) as Masha. Of course it didn’t hurt that Sven was in her players box with Igor. Sven makes things happen. Maybe a bit of the Sven awesome will rub off on Igor and he can beat Fed tomorrow. Hey, I can dream.

I love Masha but it’s just as well that we don’t have to look at the dress for 2 weeks. A photographer tried to take a picture of Masha’s fug “Avatar/fucking rainforest” dress and it was the last picture they ever took.

Here are the other happenings from Monday:

Dick stopped, dropped and rolled his way to an easy win over Thiemo de Bakker.

Muzz failed to give me my dream triple bagel match, by losing 4 games to Kevin Anderson. Pffft. But he did give us this:


One of the best things that happened was that Delpo totally went off on an umpire. Well, he was nice about it, he didn’t belittle the person like Roddick does. But I’ve never seen him argue with an ump to that extent.

It was awesome.

Oh, and Kuz took the “towel over head” thing to a whole new level.

Flavs came close to losing to Chakky before she woke up. Does she not have a sponsor now? Did she get these clothes at Macy’s or something?

Speaking of clothes: why oh why.  To be honest, the shorts weren’t as bad to me as the see-through jacket he walked out on court in. But as long as the fug doesn’t affect his game, it’s all good in the end, right?

Rafa took out “Kendrick’s evil douchy twin” (thanks TennisLuvah) 7-6 (0), 6-1, 6-4.

I couldn’t let Muzz be your last shirtless image. I do have a sense of decency.

Full Monday Results Here

Tuesday OOP Here

Suck It, ITF.

What’s this? The WTA all-Belgian week. Yanina Wickmayer beat Flavs in the Auckland final, 6-3, 6-2.  As you all must have heard and read, Yanina had her one-year ban (a fucking stupid ban) for anti-doping violations overturned.  She received a last minute Wild Card for Auckland and comes out with the title. Nice Story.

Sad for Flavs and for Emma since she loves her so much. Still a good week for her. She played great all week but Yanina was better in the final.


Flavs Blasts Past Franny, Wicky Downs Shahar

The semi finals of the ASB Classic in Auckland took place Friday, with HSM fave Flavia Pennetta taking on her bestie Francesca Schiavone and USO semifinalist Yanina Wickmayer taking on the much maligned Shahar Peer.

In the first match of the day, Wicky took on Shahar Peer. It was an odd match, with both ladies playing well, but never at the same time. Wickmayer definitely outplayed Peer in the first set, her groundstrokes were cleanly struck and her serve was working well. In the second, however, Peer upped her game. Wicky got the essential break late in the second thanks to an uber dodgy line call. The crowd and Shahar both protested, but to no avail, and the chair umpire refused to over-rule. Hey Auckland! Get Hawkeye FFS! Anyways;  Wickmayer def. Peer, 6-4, 7-5.

Next up was HSM fave and DBO bringer Flavs against her compatriot Franny. We all know that Franny can play, and has an awesome grunt. However, Flavia played fucking unbelievably well.  Her serve was great, her backhand down the line was so good that I almost needed a post-coital ciggie afterwards, and she was just playing like a BAMF in general. In the end, she trounced Poor Francesca 6-3, 6-0.  Forza bella Flavia!

 Saturday OOP (Note: all times are Auckland local)

ASB Classic (Day Six) 

Saturday, January 9 

Centre Court 


KIA Motors Doubles Final – 1 Cara Black (ZIM)/Liezel Huber (USA) v Natalie Grandin (RSA)/Laura Granville (USA) 

followed by 

KIA Motors Singles Final – 1 Flavia Pennetta (ITA) v 3-WC Yanina Wickmayer (BEL)

Fratelli d’Italia victorious, Shahar shines

The ASB Classic at Auckland has been bringing the drama bigtime this week, what with all the assholes protesting about Shahar Peer and seeds falling left, right, and center. The QFs yesterday saw two HSM faves, Flavs and Kiri in action.

Flavia, who has been on amazing form this week, and hasn’t dropped serve once, was up against RG semi-finalist and another HSM fave, Domi. The match was a completely one-sided affair, with The Countess of Court #3 strolling to victory, 6-1, 6-2.

Flavs will now take on her friend and compatriot Francesca Schiavone, who defeated Cindy Lou Who in straights.

Shahar Peer has had a lot of crap to deal with this week, but to her credit, she did not let this affect her during her match against Russian goddess MaKiri. It was an odd match, Peer bagelled Kiri in the first set, then Kiri bounced back to take the match into a decider by taking the 2nd set 6-3, only to have Peer turn up her level a notch and take the final set 6-1. While we here at HSM love MaKiri, I think we’re all happy that Shahar has shown the ignorant fuckers who have been giving her shit that she is not going to take it lying down. Good for you, girl.

Shahar plays Yanina “The Other Belgian” Wickmayer next, after Wicky beat Kimiko Date Krumm, 6-2, 6-2.

Friday OOP;

Centre Court

Noon (Auckland local time)

KIA Motors Singles SF – 3-WC Yanina Wickmayer (BEL) v Shahar Peer (ISR)

followed by

KIA Motors Singles SF – 1 Flavia Pennetta (ITA) v Francesca Schiavone (ITA)

followed by (after suitable break)

KIA Motors Doubles SF – 1 Cara Black (ZIM)/Liezel Huber (USA) v 3 Flavia Pennetta (ITA)/Francesca Schiavone (ITA)


Flavia gets sh*t done!

HSM fave, and all-round BAMF, Flavia Pennetta of Italy, defeated American Jill Craybas in just 70 minutes to make it through to the next round of the ASB Classic in New Zealand. It was a thoroughly comprehensive 6-2, 6-4 victory for top seed Flavs, who impressed many with her performances last year. Girl looked to be in amazing shape, and her new Sergio Tacchini outfit was totally cute. They always seem to create beautiful clothes for her. Unlike, say, what ANTA force on poor JJ. Anyways, all in all, a great day for Flavs and her fans!


Forza Flavia!

Monday’s other Singles results:

3/WC) Yanina Wickmayer (BEL) d. Julia Goerges(GER) 63 75
(7) Aravane Rezai (FRA) d. Julie Coin (FRA) 64 63
Magdalena Rybarikova (SVK) d. (8) Anabel Medina Garrigues(ESP) 62 63
Dominika Cibulkova (SVK) d. Alexandra Dulgheru (ROU) 60 63
(WC) Kimiko Date Krumm (JPN) d. Anna Chakvetadze (RUS) 61 62

Tuesday OOP:

Centre Court (from 11.00hrs Auckland local time)
1. Francesca Schiavone vs. Stéphanie Cohen-Aloro
2. Alizé Cornet vs. Marina Erakovic
3. Kaia Kanepi vs. Li Na
4. Alberta Brianti vs. Elena Vesnina
5. Tatjana Malek vs. Maria Kirilenko (NB 19.30hrs)
6. Craybas/Spears vs. Vesnina/Zalameda

Court 4 (from 11.00hrs)
1. Shahar Peer vs. Polona Hercog
2. Virginie Razzano vs. Monica Niculescu
3. Pennetta/Schiavone vs. Gallovits/Peer
4. Cibulkova/Wickmayer vs. Mirza/Ruano Pascual

Court 6 (from 11.00hrs)
1. Carla Suárez Navarro vs. Edina Gallovits
2. Stefanie Voegele vs. Sania Mirza
3. Elena Baltacha vs. Ioana Raluca Olaru
4. Coin/Pelletier vs. Uhlirova/Voracova