Hotness of the Week: Marat Safin

Yes, ladies, it’s that time again. HotW is back, and this week our subject is Marat Safin.

Where do I start? Check out that smile!

Maratski workin a hood like only he could, his eyes are making me melt

Look. At. That. Body

Marat is a former World Number One, and he is delicious

He’s a total GQ Motherfuck€r

He retired at the end of last year, breaking the hearts of fangirls (and fanboys) worldwide

He looks shit hot even when sporting a black eye. Unf!

Part of his charm is that he just seems to not give a fuck. He’s like “I’m badass, deal with it”

*sobs* Remember this? Maratski is a two-time Grand Slam champion.

Basically, there’s no need for a summation in this case. He’s Marat Mikhailovich Safin, and he’s a sexy bastard.



Hotness of the Week Chicks Edition; Flavia Pennetta

So, anyone who reads HSM regularly, or follows me on Twitter, will know that I have a total girlcrush on Miss Flavia Pennetta, or Bella Flavia, as I like to call her.

For starters, she has amazing legs

She just embodies typical Italian beauty and grace

Her smile makes my heart all fluttery, and she’s a chick FFS!

She has had sex on a tennis court before, as she admitted in an interview.  I want. With her.

She can “smize” amazingly well. Tyra Banks and her fivehead would approve

She has great fashion sense (love those shoes), but look at that smile! I love it!

She is a BAMF. She once said she’d “have a quickie with Marat Safin.” See? She’s just like us!

Le sigh. She really is bella.

When she was having a hard time personally in 2007, she didn’t let it ruin her. Hells no, she went away, worked on her tennis, and became the first Italian Chick to crack the Top 10. Awesome!

What is there left to say? She’s Italian, beautiful, sexy, cute, has a great sense of humour, would bone Maratski, is bubbly and vivacious, and a damn good tennis player.

I would totally marry Flavs and have her Italian babies. Le sigh.  She’s the only chick I’d ever say that about.

Forza Bella Flavia!



Hotness of the Week, chicks edition #1

We here at HSM pride ourselves on being great believers in equality. A fair few of our HSM readers are dudes, so, this post is for them. Our very first HotW chick subject is Ana Ivanovic.

She is blazing hot

For someone so shy and dorky, she does “come hither” eyes pretty well

The girl rocks sexy clothes damn well

She knows how to work the camera

She looks good wet (!)

She grew up in a working class family and learned how to play tennis an an abandoned swimming pool. That is inspirational stuff, y’all

She says she’s “trilled” all the time, which is fucking adorable

Again, she rocks wetness well

She is a UNICEF ambassador, which shows that she’s beautiful both inside and out

She is a grand slam champion, and quite frankly, deserves more fucking respect than she often gets

So, Ana won a match today, and is hot and beautiful and sweet. We salute you, Baby E.  AJDE!

(This post is really dedicated to Curt and Parker, for being loyal and epic Ana fans. We love you guys)

Hotness Of The Week: Feliciano Lopez

Well, well. Look what we have here: another Hottie of the Week. Emma did one on Friday. Today is Monday so this is a new week. We did one of Nando, so of course the next one was going to be Feli. It’s kind of impossible to keep those two apart.   Feli Lopez: The Prettiest Man on the ATP Tour (yes I gave him that title because it is true). Let’s start, shall we?

He doesn’t mind getting oily and posing for gay magazines.

He’s part of one of the most epic bromances in ATP History.

He likes to be shirtless a lot.

He has the body of a Greek god. He’s like Adonis reincarnated, I swear.

He can go all model on you. I see a second career in the future.

Did I mention that he goes shirtless a lot?

He can also be a BAMF on court. Especially in Davis Cup. Suck on that Argentine crowd.

He also possesses one of the most amazing asses on the ATP tour, maybe even in the world. Also, he likes to play without his underwear and just wearing a jockstrap. Don’t believe me? Check out the video up there.

Feli, all the fangirls and some fanboys salute you. Keep us giving what we want. Because Deli Lopez brings the meat. (TM Neil)

Hotness of the Week: Fernando Verdasco

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, it’s that time again. Time for Hotness of the Week. This week’s choice is one Fernando Verdasco Carmona. And he is one hot motherfucker.

He’s sexy when he’s being all fierce

He’s delicious when he’s being a thespian dahhling (or trying to)

He makes me give out *high pitched squeals* when he’s being fucking adorable

He is fit as fuck when flashing those abs (is it bad that I just wanna lick ice cream off his abs?)

He gets nekkid for charity, which makes the Karma Gods and my vagina mucho happy

Look at it. I know you know what I’m talking about. LOOK AT IT. I WANT!

Ai Dios mio y todo los Santos. He’s basically a hot BAMF. And he wins at life AND at tennis.

Fernando Verdasco Carmona, me and my ladywood salute you.

Hotness of the Week: World #2 Novak Djokovic!

I need cheering up.

The only good thing that emerged from today is that HSM fave, uber BAMF, and all-round sexgod Nole will finally be World #2. AJDE! In honour of this epicness, he is our choice for Hotness of the Week.

He is the epitome of Serbian shirtless perfection.

He can do the whole fashion thing pretty damn well.

He wins at life, and at tennis.

Even when acting like a dork, he’s infinitely hittable.

Erm, what was I saying? I need some “Emma time” ASAP.

He’s athletic. And has stamina. And that is win.

Basically, he’s just a delicious BAMF, with an awesome sense of humour, kitten soft hair, a body that was made for sin, and a tennis game that delights the senses.

Work it, Nole. You’d get it. You’d get it  repeatedly.

Congrats on finally getting to #2, Nole. We love you! Ajde!

Now, excuse me while I go have a post-climax cig.

Hotness Of The Week: Rafael Nadal

In our first edition of Hottie of the Week, we have Rafa Nadal. Of course he was going to be the first one. What’s not to love about Rafa. He has the looks, the personality and heart that makes many women and men melt.

He’s a champion in every sense of the word.

He has a beautiful and contagious smile.


He’s a BAMF.

Those arms *Nom, Nom*

That body, sigh.


What else you can say? Many, many women and men want to fuck him. Many men want to be him.  To quote Lafayette from True Blood: the man is sex on a stick.