All Fashion Police units to IW please

It’s IW time, bitches!!!

Last night saw the BNP Paribas Open Player’s Party. Here are some of our fave examples of the “fashion” on show.

Oh, Rafa. Your horrific fashion sense is utterly endearing

If any other player wore this, I’d give them shit for being mumsy. But I love Kim, and she really is a Mama. So, work it!

The Joe Six Pack of the ATP. He’s just a normal dude!

Next time someone calls Muzz “The Ginge Hotness”, I’m having them sectioned.

I’m a JJkad. So, I’ll just say this isn’t one of her worst efforts.  But seriously, WTF?

Ana and Sorana. I think both look beautiful. Ivanovic in particular looks gorgeous.

I am trying *so* hard not to say something mean (and truthful) about this. So, yeah. Just no.

LMAO. Oh Dani. I had an outfit just like this about 6 years ago. When I was 16 and didn’t know any better.

So, HSMers, who did YOU think was the Best/Worst dressed?


Australian Open Day 5: WTA

I will start with a tweet from the Queen Vitch, Jills:

“I can’t wait until tennis starts. I’m going to be cheering for upsets all night. UPSETS. Chaos, drama and disaster ftw.”

Someone got their wish. You ask all that and WTA shall provide.  Let’s start because there was a ton of drama today and maybe the biggest “WTF just happened in this match?” EVAH.  I will start with the wins then with the juicy upsets.

Dina cruised against Baltacha. No one has Dina in the conversation as a contender for the title, even if she’s still #2 in the World. I think that’s how she likes it. Maybe her time has come to finally win a slam? You never know, predictions are useless in the WTA. Moving on.

Kiri keeps kicking ass and backing up her win against Masha. She won in 2 hard fought sets against Vinci.

JuJu had to rally back against Kleybs after losing the first set. Right there you could feel there was something in the air. It seems Justine is carrying some kind of injury. So, yeah.

Another one that got a scare was Kuzz. She also had to fight back against Kerber. She was really close to packing her bags. She won in 3 hard fought sets at the end.

Now to the juicy upsets.

This upset makes me happy. I can’t stand Bartoli. She’s maybe the only WTA player that I really, really dislike. She lost to cutie Zheng in 3 sets including a bagel in the 3rd. *giggles*

Following the steps of her Serbian Sister Ana, JJ and her Carmen Miranda dress lost in straights to ABond. WTF JJ? She played shitty, her serve was worse than usual and her ground strokes were utter crap. The ball is supposed to go inside the lines, JJ. The doubles alley lines doesn’t count. Talk about shitty play.

The biggest OMG WTF STFU R U SRS I have ever seen in a tennis match. I still can’t believe it. I don’t think anyone (not even Kim) knows what the hell happened. I love Nadia’s game- she was #3 in the world at some point. She has great ground strokes and an awesome serve, but she’s a headcase. You never know what you’re going to get. She was on fire last night and Kim wasn’t on court. Nadia won the first set 6-0 in 15 min and Kim only won 5 points in that set. 5 points!!!

Then the second set started and it was more of the same. Kim finally won a game, the only game she won the whole match. She won 1 game!!! This is what’s call a spanking of epic proportions. I really thought Kim was the favorite here. I think everyone did. You know, since she won the USO and won a title just last week. Instead she got the biggest loss in her career. Can someone give a reason for what the hell went on? Pam Shiver said that she was afraid of playing Justine. WHAT!? She just beat her last week. Did she had family trouble? Pressure of being the so-called favorite? Someone? Anyone? Yeah, I don’t know either.

Complete Results: Here

Saturday’s OOP: Here


Australian Open: Day 3

Yeah, I know we didn’t do a post about day 2. Sorry about that, but nothing exciting really happened. Fed lost a set to Igor and the commies thought it was the end of the world. Serena beat URad to the ground. So, let’s see what happened in day 3.

Today it was a really long day at the AO. There where a couple of 5 setters. One of those was DelPo vs Blah. I didn’t see the match since I needed some sleep. So WTF happened? Was Blah playing great or it has something to do with DelPo’s much talked wrist injury? Anyway, DelPo finally won 10-8 in the fifth. Thank Sven that Blah sucks in 5 setters, the name Lames Flake didn’t come out of nowhere.

The other epic 5 setter was Marin vs. that little Punk Tomic. Good for Tomic, he gave a good fight in front of the home crowd. The match ended at 2:30 am Sydney time. I’ll be sure to catch the repeat, no I won’t. Since those fuckers at ESPN2 didn’t show the match. I wanted to see the 5th set but got Mike and Mike in the Morning. Really nice ESPN2, you have like 4 other channels, ffs. Couldn’t you put that show in one of those?

Rafa  cruised against Lacko. Didn’t see much of the match, you know since  Dick and Hagrid are more important because there Americans. FU ESPN2 for cockbloking the match because of your American Bias. At least Dick was playing my boy Thomaz so I got some eye candy. But Hagrid was playing some Irish dude with no neck that looked like a Leprechaun. BTW, congrats to Emma  really nice for your country man, he made the main draw and got some nice cash.

On the WTA side the match that everyone wanted to see was the Lena vs JuJu match. The best 2nd round match ever according to ESPN2 *eyeroll*. I totally though that Lena was going to win. Since you know she beat Serena last week and was playing really well. So, I was burned again by Lena like she has done many times before. Justine won in straights, but it was a close match.

I also threw my hands in the air. I won’t trust Lena ever again. I think I finally learned my lesson.

Full Wednesday Results: Here

Thursday’s OOP: Here  

Oh, Well Fuck.

Justine has withdrawn from the Sydney International with an “injured left leg.” She could have met Serena in the second round. I was already drooling at the possibility.  I’m so pissed, I guess I’ll just have to wait a while longer for that meeting.

She does look like Haley Joel Osment, Emma.

The WTA Saviors

You know that’s what you’re going to hear everywhere. Just like old times. Kim and JuJu met in a final that makes you go all warm and fuzzy inside. It was 2 hours and 24 minutes of great tennis and momentum swings, that finished in a 3rd set TB with both ladies saving match points.  Kim saved 2 mps, while JuJu saved 3. Kim started strong taking a 4-1 lead that she almost choked away, but still won the 1st set, 6-3. Then JuJu started to play like her old self and won the 2nd set, 6-4. In the 3rd set JuJu started strong with a 3-0 lead but Kim rallied back, making it 3-3. She gave Juju mps in the 10th game, but Kim stayed strong and held her nerve. Juju was able to push it to a TB, which Kim won, 7-6(6). Kim’s AO chances are looking really good.

Warning: Pic Spam ahead.

 Obligatory Jada pic. So cute.

Pure Class.


Yeah, Yeah. You Get Your Dream Final.

I expected so much more from this match, but this IS the WTA after all. The match was crap. Crap, I tell you. Anita played like shit, and so did JuJu. The small moments of brilliance from Juju won her the match. The “OMFG I’m playing Justine Henin” virus that Ana had was another big factor. I like Justine, I really do- but I wanted Ana to win. (FIX THAT BALL TOSS ANA!) If the fellow Ana fans or Justine haters want to rant and hate go ahead, use the comments for it. That’s what we’re here for.

In the other semi, Kim won her match against Petkovic. I didn’t see the match, so I can’t really comment on it. From what I’ve seen from Kim this week, she has looked great. So, people will get the all-Belgian final that they have been praying for since they first saw that the old rivals were playing Brisbane.  Justine vs. Kim, just like old times. Bring it!

Full Results WTA : Friday, January 8, 2010
Singles – Semifinals
(1) Kim Clijsters (BEL) d. Andrea Petkovic (GER) 64 62
(WC) Justine Henin (BEL) d. (3) Ana Ivanovic 63 62
Doubles – Semifinals
Hlavackova/Hradecka (CZE/CZE) d. (3) Amanmuradova/Chan (UZB/TPE) 26 64 107

On the ATP, they played the 2 quarter-finals that were left. Dick beat Richie- sad face. But regardless, Brisbane was a good tournament for Richie. Andy will play the winner of the other quarter-final, Berdy.

He beat one of my weird ATP crushes Thomaz Bellucci. I was kind of surprised that Thomaz made it this far. He usually sucks on hard-courts. The dude is a clay-courter all the way. Good result for him.

Don’t worry bb, the South American clay-court swing is just around the corner.

Full Results ATP: Friday, 8 January, 2010
Singles – Quarter-finals
[1] A Roddick (USA) d R Gasquet (FRA) 63 76(5)
[4] T Berdych (CZE) d [8] T Bellucci (BRA) 76(4) 26 76(3)
Doubles – Semi-finals
[1] L Dlouhy (CZE) / L Paes (IND) d J Melzer (AUT) / P Petzschner (GER) 64 06 10-7
OOP: Saturday, January 9, 2010
Pat Rafter Arena (from 11.00hrs)
1. ATP: Monfils vs. Stepanek
2. ATP: Roddick  vs. Berdych (NB 12.30hrs)
3. ATP: Blake/Roddick vs. Chardy/Gicquel (after suitable rest)
4. Singles Final: Kim Clijsters vs. Justine Henin (NB 19.00hrs)
5. Doubles Final: Hlavackova/Hradecka vs. Czink/Parra Santonja

Fist Pumps For Everybody

Look who won in straight sets. This girl.

The best I’ve seen Anita play in a long, long time. The first serve was great, the forehand and the slice were working. Well, until she was serving for the match. She was up 5-3 in the second, then the nerves started to kick in. Pavs broke back and I started to swear my ass off. I was expecting a 3rd set after that, but thank Sven, she was able to pull out the TB and win the match.

You did your best kid, better luck next time.

Anita’s price for winning and making her first semi final since Indian Wells? Having to play this chick:

I haven’t been able to see JuJu play, but according to reports (aka my Twitter buddies) she hasn’t been playing that fantastic. She won in a 3rd set TB against Czink. It seems Czink was hit by the virus that’s been going around- the “OMFG I’m playing Justine Henin”. Does Anita have a chance against JuJu? I think she does, since anything is possible. I’m a big JuJu fan but Anita needs this more. So I’ll be rooting for Ana as beating Justine would do wonders for her confidence. Even if she loses, it’s still a great result for Anita. Ajde!

Full Brisbane Results WTA: Thursday, January 7, 2010

Singles – Quarterfinals

(1) Kim Clijsters (BEL) d. Lucie Safarova (CZE) 61 06 64

(3) Ana Ivanovic (SRB) d. Anastasia Pavlyuchenkova (RUS) 62 76(6)

Andrea Petkovic (GER) d. (4) Daniela Hantuchova (SVK) 64 62

(WC) Justine Henin (BEL) d. (7) Melinda Czink (HUN) 62 36 76(5)

Doubles – Semifinals

Czink/Parra Santonja (HUN/ESP) d. Rodionova/Rodionova (AUS/RUS) 62 61

Doubles – Quarterfinals

(3) Amanmuradova/Chan (UZB/TPE) d. Pavlyuchenkova/Voskoboeva (RUS/KAZ) 62 61

On the ATP side there where only two singles matches. Defending champion Steps won in straights against Odesnik. The most important thing that happened: Mr. Entertainment took out Mr. Boring. LaMonf beat Blah in 3 sets, so I’m happy about that.

Dude, even his fist pumps are boring

Full Brisbane Results ATP: Thursday, January 7, 2010

Singles – Quarter-finals
[2] R Stepanek (CZE) d W Odesnik (USA) 76(2) 61
[3] G Monfils (FRA) d J Blake (USA) 36 63 64
Doubles – Quarter-finals
[1] L Dlouhy (CZE) / L Paes (IND) d A Fisher (AUS) / S Huss (AUS) W/O (Fisher – knee)
J Melzer (AUT) / P Petzschner (GER) d [3] M Llodra (FRA) / A Ram (ISR) 57 62 10-8
J Chardy (FRA) / M Gicquel (FRA) d T Berdych (CZE) / R Stepanek (CZE) 75 64