Masha, Monfils out; TMD, Blahroline through

Yeah. So yesterday at IW was pretty much total fail. HSM faves Masha, Evgeny, Ferru, Monfils, MaKiri and Bally (among others) were all knocked out. While douchenags that we’re not toofond of gave us all hope by losing sets only to come back and win. Yeah, I am talking about you know who.

Masha lost to the Jay Zizzle, in a truly shiteous match, in three sets

Le sigh. Monfils lost to Simon Greul, who is now totally shitlisted til further notice

I swear, this wasn’t a bitchy photo selection on my part. Twas the best of the lot. I’m actually serious. She ousted Kiri

All results:

Men’s Singles – Third Round [29] V Troicki (SRB) d [5] N Davydenko – w/o (broken left wrist)

Men’s Singles – Second Round

[1] R Federer (SUI) d V Hanescu (ROU) 63 67(5) 61

 [4] A Murray (GBR) d A Seppi (ITA) 64 64

 [6] R Soderling (SWE) d E Korolev (KAZ) 62 64

[7] A Roddick (USA) d [Q] Y Lu (TPE) 64 64

[9] J Tsonga (FRA) d [Q] M Matosevic (AUS) 61 63

S Greul (GER) d [12] G Monfils (FRA) 16 62 63

J Blake (USA) d [13] D Ferrer (ESP) 61 64

D Sela (ISR) d [14] R Stepanek (CZE) 64 16 62

[18] T Robredo (ESP) d S Stakhovsky (UKR) 36 63 75

[22] J Melzer (AUT) d [WC] D Nalbandian (ARG) 64 61

N Almagro (ESP) d [23] I Karlovic (CRO) 75 76(5)

[24] A Montanes (ESP) d [Q] R Mello (BRA) 36 64 64

[27] M Baghdatis (CYP) d A Clement (FRA) 76(7) 61

[28] F Lopez (ESP) d P Mathieu (FRA) 36 63 64

T de Bakker (NED) d [30] J Tipsarevic (SRB) 32 ret. (abdominal strain)

M Russell (USA) d [32] I Andreev (RUS) 46 63 62

 Men’s Doubles – Second Round M Llodra (FRA) / A Ram (ISR) d J Tipsarevic (SRB) / V Troicki (SRB) w/o (Tipsarevic – abdominal strain) Men’s Doubles – First Round [1] D Nestor (CAN) / N Zimonjic (SRB) d E Butorac (USA) / R Ram (USA) 63 64 T Berdych (CZE) / P Kohlschreiber (GER) d [2] B Bryan (USA) / M Bryan (USA) 76(4) 75 [WC] M Lopez (ESP) / R Nadal (ESP) d [3] L Dlouhy (CZE) / L Paes (IND) 64 36 10-6 [6] S Aspelin (SWE) / P Hanley (AUS) d J Kerr (AUS) / F Polasek (SVK) 75 63 F Lopez (ESP) / F Verdasco (ESP) d [WC] M Ancic (CRO) / M Fish (USA) 76(9) 63

Women’s Singles – Third Round

[2] C Wozniacki (DEN) d [32] M Kirilenko (RUS) 60 63

[4] E Dementieva (RUS) d K Flipkens (BEL) 64 62

[5] A Radwanska (POL) d [31] G Dulko (ARG) 61 60

[18] J Zheng (CHN) d [10] M Sharapova (RUS) 63 26 63

[11] M Bartoli (FRA) d J Craybas (USA) 62 60

[19] A Rezai (FRA) d [15] F Schiavone (ITA) 67(4) 76(2) 64

[16] N Petrova (RUS) d S Peng (CHN) 61 75

[WC] A Molik (AUS) d [Q] E Baltacha (GBR) 60 62

Women’s Doubles – Second Round [2] N Llagostera Vives (ESP) / M Martinez Sanchez (ESP) d G Dulko (ARG) / F Pennetta (ITA) 75 76(4) I Benesova (CZE) / B Zahlavova Strycova (CZE) d [5] A Kleybanova (RUS) / F Schiavone (ITA) 57 75 10-1 [6] B Mattek-Sands (USA) / Z Yan (CHN) d [WC] T Garbin (ITA) / J Jankovic (SRB) 64 46 10-5


Aussie Open Day 7 results

There were a lot of great matches at Melbourne Park on Sunday, with Rafa, RAndy, Gonzo, Muzz, Elf, Haley Joel Henin, MaKiri and Dina all in action.

This cutie is in great form. Defending champion and HSM fave Rafa Nadal made it through to the quarters with a solid 6-4, 4-6,6-4, 6-4 win over Ivo Karlovic. Some of Rafa’s shotmaking was ridic good. He’ll now face Muzz, who beat Tree in straights. In the other quarter, RAndy came through a 5 set epic to defeat Gonzo. It was a tough match, with some dodgy linecalls, but the standard of tennis was awesome. He’ll now face Marin, who defeated US Open champ JMDP in yet another epic 5 setter.


Le sigh. Poor Dina. She retired while serving to stay in the first set against HSM fave and uber babe MaKiri. It seems to be a return of her back injury from Doha. Girl was totes upset in her presser. Get well soon Dina!  MaKiri will now face Jay Z, who beat A-Blond in straights. Haley Joel beat Yanina in three sets and will now face Nads who continued her great run by downing French Open champion Sveta.

Monday OOP;

Schedule of Play





  Rod Laver Arena11:00 Start  

  Women’s Singles – 4th Round
  Francesca Schiavone(ITA)[17] vs.   Venus Williams(USA)[6]
  Men’s Singles – 4th Round
  Fernando Verdasco(ESP)[9] vs.   Nikolay Davydenko(RUS)[6]
  Women’s Singles – 4th Round
  Serena Williams(USA)[1] vs.   Samantha Stosur(AUS)[13]
  Rod Laver Arena19:30 Start  

  Men’s Singles – 4th Round
  Roger Federer(SUI)[1] vs.   Lleyton Hewitt(AUS)[22]
  Women’s Singles – 4th Round
  Vera Zvonareva(RUS)[9] vs.   Victoria Azarenka(BLR)[7]
  Hisense Arena11:00 Start  

  Mixed Doubles – 2nd Round
  Flavia Pennetta(ITA) /
  Marcelo Melo(BRA)
vs.   Jarmila Groth(AUS) /
  Samuel Groth(AUS)
  Women’s Singles – 4th Round
  Caroline Wozniacki(DEN)[4] vs.   Na Li(CHN)[16]
  Men’s Singles – 4th Round
  Novak Djokovic(SRB)[3] vs.   Lukasz Kubot(POL)
  Men’s Singles – 4th Round
  Jo-Wilfried Tsonga(FRA)[10] vs.   Nicolas Almagro(ESP)[26]

Australian Open Day 5: WTA

I will start with a tweet from the Queen Vitch, Jills:

“I can’t wait until tennis starts. I’m going to be cheering for upsets all night. UPSETS. Chaos, drama and disaster ftw.”

Someone got their wish. You ask all that and WTA shall provide.  Let’s start because there was a ton of drama today and maybe the biggest “WTF just happened in this match?” EVAH.  I will start with the wins then with the juicy upsets.

Dina cruised against Baltacha. No one has Dina in the conversation as a contender for the title, even if she’s still #2 in the World. I think that’s how she likes it. Maybe her time has come to finally win a slam? You never know, predictions are useless in the WTA. Moving on.

Kiri keeps kicking ass and backing up her win against Masha. She won in 2 hard fought sets against Vinci.

JuJu had to rally back against Kleybs after losing the first set. Right there you could feel there was something in the air. It seems Justine is carrying some kind of injury. So, yeah.

Another one that got a scare was Kuzz. She also had to fight back against Kerber. She was really close to packing her bags. She won in 3 hard fought sets at the end.

Now to the juicy upsets.

This upset makes me happy. I can’t stand Bartoli. She’s maybe the only WTA player that I really, really dislike. She lost to cutie Zheng in 3 sets including a bagel in the 3rd. *giggles*

Following the steps of her Serbian Sister Ana, JJ and her Carmen Miranda dress lost in straights to ABond. WTF JJ? She played shitty, her serve was worse than usual and her ground strokes were utter crap. The ball is supposed to go inside the lines, JJ. The doubles alley lines doesn’t count. Talk about shitty play.

The biggest OMG WTF STFU R U SRS I have ever seen in a tennis match. I still can’t believe it. I don’t think anyone (not even Kim) knows what the hell happened. I love Nadia’s game- she was #3 in the world at some point. She has great ground strokes and an awesome serve, but she’s a headcase. You never know what you’re going to get. She was on fire last night and Kim wasn’t on court. Nadia won the first set 6-0 in 15 min and Kim only won 5 points in that set. 5 points!!!

Then the second set started and it was more of the same. Kim finally won a game, the only game she won the whole match. She won 1 game!!! This is what’s call a spanking of epic proportions. I really thought Kim was the favorite here. I think everyone did. You know, since she won the USO and won a title just last week. Instead she got the biggest loss in her career. Can someone give a reason for what the hell went on? Pam Shiver said that she was afraid of playing Justine. WHAT!? She just beat her last week. Did she had family trouble? Pressure of being the so-called favorite? Someone? Anyone? Yeah, I don’t know either.

Complete Results: Here

Saturday’s OOP: Here


Aussie Open: Day 1 (Fuck You Rain)

The AO kicked off today in strange fashion (and I’m not just referring to Masha’s dress). As opposed to the usual heat and sun we’re used to seeing on TV, Melbourne was rainy and chilly today. Many of the matches were cancelled, so the OOP will be insane tomorrow. I know that the AO has typically been the “surprise” slam, where anything can happen. But I don’t think anyone expected Kiri to beat Masha in the first match on Rod Laver.

She was just so consistent. She was hitting as hard (and shrieking almost as loud) as Masha. Of course it didn’t hurt that Sven was in her players box with Igor. Sven makes things happen. Maybe a bit of the Sven awesome will rub off on Igor and he can beat Fed tomorrow. Hey, I can dream.

I love Masha but it’s just as well that we don’t have to look at the dress for 2 weeks. A photographer tried to take a picture of Masha’s fug “Avatar/fucking rainforest” dress and it was the last picture they ever took.

Here are the other happenings from Monday:

Dick stopped, dropped and rolled his way to an easy win over Thiemo de Bakker.

Muzz failed to give me my dream triple bagel match, by losing 4 games to Kevin Anderson. Pffft. But he did give us this:


One of the best things that happened was that Delpo totally went off on an umpire. Well, he was nice about it, he didn’t belittle the person like Roddick does. But I’ve never seen him argue with an ump to that extent.

It was awesome.

Oh, and Kuz took the “towel over head” thing to a whole new level.

Flavs came close to losing to Chakky before she woke up. Does she not have a sponsor now? Did she get these clothes at Macy’s or something?

Speaking of clothes: why oh why.  To be honest, the shorts weren’t as bad to me as the see-through jacket he walked out on court in. But as long as the fug doesn’t affect his game, it’s all good in the end, right?

Rafa took out “Kendrick’s evil douchy twin” (thanks TennisLuvah) 7-6 (0), 6-1, 6-4.

I couldn’t let Muzz be your last shirtless image. I do have a sense of decency.

Full Monday Results Here

Tuesday OOP Here

Fratelli d’Italia victorious, Shahar shines

The ASB Classic at Auckland has been bringing the drama bigtime this week, what with all the assholes protesting about Shahar Peer and seeds falling left, right, and center. The QFs yesterday saw two HSM faves, Flavs and Kiri in action.

Flavia, who has been on amazing form this week, and hasn’t dropped serve once, was up against RG semi-finalist and another HSM fave, Domi. The match was a completely one-sided affair, with The Countess of Court #3 strolling to victory, 6-1, 6-2.

Flavs will now take on her friend and compatriot Francesca Schiavone, who defeated Cindy Lou Who in straights.

Shahar Peer has had a lot of crap to deal with this week, but to her credit, she did not let this affect her during her match against Russian goddess MaKiri. It was an odd match, Peer bagelled Kiri in the first set, then Kiri bounced back to take the match into a decider by taking the 2nd set 6-3, only to have Peer turn up her level a notch and take the final set 6-1. While we here at HSM love MaKiri, I think we’re all happy that Shahar has shown the ignorant fuckers who have been giving her shit that she is not going to take it lying down. Good for you, girl.

Shahar plays Yanina “The Other Belgian” Wickmayer next, after Wicky beat Kimiko Date Krumm, 6-2, 6-2.

Friday OOP;

Centre Court

Noon (Auckland local time)

KIA Motors Singles SF – 3-WC Yanina Wickmayer (BEL) v Shahar Peer (ISR)

followed by

KIA Motors Singles SF – 1 Flavia Pennetta (ITA) v Francesca Schiavone (ITA)

followed by (after suitable break)

KIA Motors Doubles SF – 1 Cara Black (ZIM)/Liezel Huber (USA) v 3 Flavia Pennetta (ITA)/Francesca Schiavone (ITA)


Kiri’s Even Nice To Weird Dudes!

Kiri’s in Auckland this week, and here’s an adorbs interview. To be honest I don’t blame the guy. I would be that bummed too if I was him. So cute how she let the guy down easy. She’s probably had to do it a million times.

We need more videos like this in the world. I love her, srsly.

Brisbane and Auckland WTA: Results and OOP

Brisbane: The women’s QF line-up was completed, featuring Justine continuing to impress and Pavs nearly giving me a heart attack. Pavs was baguette’d in the first set by Vinci, but came back to win in 3.

Full Brisbane Results: Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Singles – Second Round
(4) Daniela Hantuchova (SVK) d. Agnes Szavay (HUN) 63 61
Lucie Safarova (CZE) d. (6) Aleksandra Wozniak (CAN) 63 61
Anastasia Pavlyuchenkova (RUS) d. Roberta Vinci (ITA) 16 64 61
(WC) Justine Henin (BEL) d. (Q) Sesil Karatantcheva (KAZ) 64 63

Doubles – Quarterfinals
Hlavackova/Hradecka (CZE/CZE) d. Govortsova/Poutchek (BLR/BLR) 76(2) 62
Czink/Parra Santonja (HUN/ESP) d. Koryttseva/Kustova (UKR/BLR) 75 46 1210
Rodionova/Rodionova (AUS/RUS) d. Bacsinszky/Garbin (SUI/ITA) 75 60


So what does this mean? It means that 2 HSM faves (Pavs and Ana) are playing eachother in the first QF match tomorrow morning!

This is a rematch of the 2009 IW semifinal (that’s where I got these pics) and I’m really excited. Should be a very interesting match. And not just because Curtis and I will be flipping out during it.

Watch that ball toss, Ana 😛


Brisbane OOP Thursday:

Pat Rafter Arena (from 10.30hrs)
1. Anastasia Pavlyuchenkova vs. Ana Ivanovic
2. ATP: Odesnik vs. Stepanek
3. Melinda Czink vs. Justine Henin
4. Kim Clijsters vs. Lucie Safarova (NB 19.00hrs)
5. ATP: Blake vs. Monfils

Court 1 (from 10.30hrs)
1. ATP: Dlouhy/Paes vs. Fisher/Huss
2. Daniela Hantuchova vs. Andrea Petkovic
3. Amanmuradova/Chan vs. Pavlyuchenkova/Voskoboeva
4. ATP: Llodra/Ram vs. Melzer/Petzschner
5. ATP: Berdych/Stepanek vs. Chardy/Gicquel
6. Czink/Parra Santonja vs. Rodionova/Rodionova


Auckland: Things are pretty crazy in Kiwiland. 3 more seeds were knocked out: Razzano, Vesnina, and Aravane. I picked Vesnina and Aravane in the pool, so I’m pretty bummed.

And who the hell would have thought Domi and Alize would start playing well out of the blue? They both won in straights. I love them both, so good for them. The seeded Italians are doing quite well, which is great. Domi vs Flavs is a nice QF that I’m looking forward to.

Of course, the most important thing is that Kiri won, setting up a QF match against Shahar Peer that starts in less than 2 hours. So excited. When did I ever get this pumped about WTA?

Answer: never. But this Pavs and Kiri and Domi and Flavs and Vika and Caro stuff is fun. So I might keep it up. Davai, Kiri! You’ve got this!


Full Auckland Results: Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Singles – Second Round
(1) Flavia Pennetta (ITA) d. Carla Suárez Navarro (ESP) 62 62
(3/WC) Yanina Wickmayer (BEL) d. Ioana Raluca Olaru (ROU) 62 62
(4) Francesca Schiavone (ITA) d. Sania Mirza (IND) 60 63
(WC) Kimiko Date Krumm (JPN) d. (5) Virginie Razzano (FRA) 36 63 62
Alizé Cornet (FRA) d. (6) Elena Vesnina (RUS) 61 61
Dominika Cibulkova (SVK) d. (7) Aravane Rezai (FRA) 63 64
Shahar Peer (ISR) d. Magdalena Rybarikova (SVK) 61 60
Maria Kirilenko (RUS) d. Kaia Kanepi (EST) 62 63

Doubles – Quarterfinals
(3) Pennetta/Schiavone (ITA/ITA) d. Borwell/Kops-Jones (GBR/USA) 76(5) 64
Uhlirova/Voracova (CZE/CZE) d. (4) Vesnina/Zalameda (RUS/USA) 76(13) 36 1614
Grandin/Granville (RSA/USA) d. (WC) Cibulkova/Wickmayer (SVK/BEL) 63 61

Doubles – First Round
Niculescu/Olaru (ROU/ROU) d. Medina Garrigues/Suárez Navarro (ESP/ESP) 75 75

Thursday OOP: (Domi vs Flavs and Kiri vs Peer FTW)

Centre Court (from 11.00hrs)
1. Shahar Peer vs. Maria Kirilenko
2. Kimiko Date Krumm vs. Yanina Wickmayer
3. Flavia Pennetta vs. Dominika Cibulkova
4. Black/Huber vs. Niculescu/Olaru
5. Francesca Schiavone vs. Alizé Cornet (NB 19.30hrs)
6. Uhlirova/Voracova vs. Grandin/Granville