I’m Pissed

So everyone I wanted to win last night lost. So I’m going to be real here. I don’t give a fuck who wins the AO now. All I know is that there’s one douche that I don’t want to win . I don’t even have to mention his name, we all know who it is. The dude has enough slams. I’m going to start with the chicks first then with the dudes.

What. a. shit fest? Vee should have won this match. She even served for it. This match was so bad that I keep falling asleep. I took like 5 naps. If someone wants to see what bad tennis is, just watch that craptastic 3rd set. It was a total breakfest and full of errors. What is it with Vee going all headcasey at the AO? Last year was Suarez Navarro. This year was Li Na. Nails got it done in the end and becomes the first Chinese Lady ( I took that from Killer Cahill, WTF? She has a name, dude) to make the top 10 so congrats to her.

This was actually a good match. It had nice winners and it had funny moments. I totally thought Vika had this. But this is Serena Effing Williams and she’s playing for a slam. Vika didn’t choke, Serena took it from her. I’m sad, I wanted Vika to win but she did give her all, so I’m proud of this awesome bitch with the Siren song.  She will win a slam in the future of that I’m sure.

Now to the dudes:

Kolya you’re useless

What are you smiling about, you choker? You just lost you idiot.

Like many expected Kolya choked against Fed. Kolya won the first set and was about to go up a double break in the second. Then he went all headcasey started to play like shit. He totally proved that he’s Russian. Fed took like 10  straight games and the rest is history. Fed won in four. Whatevs.

Poor Baby. For those who say that Nole is a pussy for retiring from other slams. Suck it. The boy was sick and brought the Djokohones out. He lost in 5 against Jo and fought till the very end even if he was feeling like crap. So with this Nole misses his chance to be #1 for now. I think he will get #2, still no idea and really don’t care about rankings at the moment.

Congrats to Jo. Let see if you can beat Fed. I don’t think he can to be honest. Still as a proud member of the ABF Club I’ll be rooting for Jo. Allez!

Complete Scores: Here

OOP Thursday: Here


Aussie Open Day 8 Dudes results. The day the hotness died.

Well, overall, that fucking sucked.

Good job, photog. HSM fave and DBO provider Nando lost another epic five setter, this time to the ultimate boner killer….

Damn you Kolya. Why ya gotta play us HSM ladies like that? Stop beating our faves ya tool! (Although we do love your missus. Irina pwns everyone.)

Nando fought back from two ses to love down to force a decider, but in the end, lost by 6-2, 7-5, 4-6, 6-7, 6-3.

Kolya will now play TMD, who ruined the night of Aussie fans, and indeed TMD haterz, by beating Lleyton in straights. I didn’t see the match, but hear it was an incredibly boring affair. What a shock. Kolya, I usually DGAF about your matches, but try and actually beat TMD when it matters this time. Otherwise…

This BAMF will probably kick your ass, and you’ll be on the HSM shitlist forever.

There was some good news today, this hottie got great win..

beating Lukasz Kubot in straights, and will now face this cutie…

..who came through another five set epic against Assmagro. It will be a repeat of the 2008 AO final. Gah. I can’t wait!

Day 9 OOP on RLA (11am start) Day Sesh : Haley Joel Henin v Nads, Jay Z vs MaKiri, RANdy vs Marin.

Evening Sesh( NB 19:30): Rafa vs MAndy bitches!!! Followed by the Douche Twins vs Some other dudes.

Australian Open: Day 6

Even with the presence of Jo, Nando, Nole, “Hasi,” and Pico, things were pretty damn boring today at the AO. I tried to resist this sentiment, but in the end it was true. For starters, top seeds Fed, Venus, Serena and Caro all won in straights. And there were no upsets today at all.

The day started with WTA matches. Bepa handed a beatdown to Gisela, and with with that look of defeat, we were halfway to the bitchfest showdown that me and my friends were hoping for. All we needed was Vika to win her match.

And Vika did win, in impressive style, 6-0 6-2. So now we have the epic bitchfest match that was supposed to happen in Hong Kong but didn’t (because Bepa pulled out there). They’re both crazy, but Vika is awesome and Bepa still has that recurrring ankle problem, so I (being the expert that I am, of course) think Vika WILL DESTROY Bepa. Think, hope, same diff. Regardless, it’s win-win. If Vika wins, we can all have a good laugh and celebration. If Bepa wins, we have one more reason to dislike Bepa. And that’s fun too.

Nole seems to be picking up his game as the tournament goes on. I didn’t watch the match, but from what others were saying and the score itself (6-1 6-1 6-2), let’s just say I’m not so worried anymore. Nole plays Kubot next, who got a walkover when Youzhny withdrew with a wrist injury. I fully expect Nole to win this match, but I do like Kubot and I hope he doesn’t get demolished out there. Kubot is a top doubles player and has a great singles game as well; should be a “comfortable test” for Nole.

Pico vs Kolya was not a fun match to watch. Kolya pretty much rolled over Pico, winning 6-0, 6-3, 6-4. Apparently Pico doesn’t know how to play Playstation. Regardless, this was a good run for him considering he’s most comfortable on clay. And at least he’s out of the cheetah and into a shirt that looks fairly decent on him.

But damn, Kolya. He hasn’t even been tested yet, and I’m scared to death for Nando. If he beats Pico and Nando and loses to Fed, I won’t be a happy camper.

But NandoKADs do have some hope. 1) Nando’s been playing well the last 1 1/2 weeks, 2) Nando will be rested because he only had to play one set today, and 3) THE HAND is back! Well, at least it resembles the hand from last year. Nando needs to come into this match with the same intensity level than he had in last year’s 4th rd vs Muzz. I’m cautiously optimistic. Please, PLEASE, Nando. Shock us all and win.

Moving on. In the match that no one cared about, Nico Almagro beat Alejandro Falla in straight sets. With a broken bone in his left wrist. So yeah, get back to the gym, Alejandro. Jo should have no trouble taking Nico out in the next round, though. Jo-Nole quarterfinal is imminent.

And of course there were the evening matches. I think we all expected Lleyton-Marcos to go at least 4 sets and be very competitive and physical. Alas, Marcos experienced pain in his shoulder from the outset and was forced to retire.

As much as I love Marcos, this scenario is better than a Fed walkover next round or a tired Lleyton having no chance to beat Fed. Lleyton is going to need his rest to try to take out The Mighty Douche.

Yes, I realize Marcos was injured and making a lot of UFE’s which contributed to the bagel set. But that being said: I was still impressed with Lleyton’s gameplan, intensity and movement. Credit where it’s due. In Lleyton’s last meeting with Fed at the 2009 USO, Lleyton took the first set and played a tight match. There are three variables that can sway the match in Lleyton’s favor this time: 1) the extra rest from having to play only 12 games today, 2) the Aussie crowd will be behind him and 3) Lleyton will want to become part of the “Fed’s Bitchboy No Longer” Club, led by Robin Bo Carl and Kolya. C’mon Lleyton. JOIN THE CLUB, PLEASE.

Marcos’ retirement meant that I got to see Jo and Tommy “Hasi” Haas on my TV. YAY. Both guys were playing well, and it must be noted that Tommy looked hotter than usual. He’s so entertaining. Tommy had a back rubdown during the match; hopefully it’s nothing serious. Last thing he needs is another injury right now.

In the end, Jo won in 4. And uh, Jim Courier took the load off and did Jo’s celebration for him. Cute.


Tomorrow, the Round of 16 starts. Only 16 men left now. Sad.

Full Saturday Results Here

Sunday OOP Here

The Douche, The Boring And The Pretty.

Some players are already in Melbourne Park getting ready for the AO. Muzz, Blah, Charlie, Kolya and Jo had been spotted on the practice courts.

Pic Spam Alert!

Look who’s trying to be fun.

Look a total bore and a total douche.

A hot douche.

Still on my shit list.

Someone is trying to get a tan.

Not working.

He’s not my cup of tea, but I know some people love some Jo.  So this is for you.

Just for you Em. Just for you.

Kolya, Welcome To My Shit List.

I’m heartbroken, simply heartbroken. This is a pill that’s hard to swallow. Kolya beat Rafa at the Doha Final, 6-0, 6-7(8), 4-6. I don’t know what hurts more the Bagel that Rafa gave Kolya in the first set ( giving an immense joy to all Rafa fans)  or the 2 Mps he lost in the second. I don’t remember that much of the match, the total Rafa frazzle has something to do with it. I know, this is a 250 Tournament and that it is a good result for Rafa. This will help him for his AO defense.  But all Rafa fans want a ATP title.  Now Kolya has a 5-4 lead in there H2H and has won  there last 3 matches. All I have to say is, Fuck you Kolya and your awesome angles and serve. If the Rafa fans want to vent, use the comments. If a reader of this blog wants to glow, don’t bother. I will delete your comment. Yes I’m a sore loser, sue me.

Here’s a pic spam:

This one is for maybe  the 10 Kolya fans that read this blog.

So this totally means that Kolya is the AO favorite, right? Yeah, people and the press will keep ignoring him.

Another Dream Final

Well, not really- if you’re the Doha organizers. Most people wanted and expected a Fedal final, but it’s not going to happen. Thanks to this guy:

100% first service in the first set? WTF!? Amazing! Just Amazing!

We will have another post about this match later (aka a glowing post).

So stay tuned.

Kolya will play that dude that I love so much. Rafa was amazing, simply amazing according to reports. I missed the match and I’m still pissed about it. Vik didn’t play bad from what I see in the stats. It seems Rafa was on fire and Vik couldn’t do anything about it. I’m a bit scared about the final to tell you the truth. The Rafa frazzle has already started. Rafa has lost the last 2 times he played Kolya. All of the sudden, Kolya thinks he owns Rafa’s ass. I just hope that Rafa can break that 2 match losing streak like he did with Sod. I think he can do it and will do it. So Vamos!

Full results: Friday,  January 8, 2010

Singles – Semi-finals
[3] N Davydenko (RUS) d [1] R Federer (SUI) 64 64
[2] R Nadal (ESP) d [5] V Troicki (SRB) 61 63
Doubles – Final
G Garcia-Lopez (ESP) / A Montanes (ESP) vs [2] F Cermak (CZE) / M Mertinak (SVK) 6-4 7-5

Youzhny downed in Doha

Monday saw the First Round matches get underway in Doha, Qatar. Neither Rafa nor TMD were playing, and as a result there was approximately 19 people in the crowd. Bad show, y’all.

The only real shocking exit of the day was Russian headcase and uber hottie Mikhail Youzhny being ousted by Sergei Stakhovsky 7-6, 6-2. The first set was a hard fought affair, with the Ukrainian evetntually taking it on the tiebreak, 13-11. The next set, however, would prove to be the last, with Youzhny handing it over 6-2.

In good news for certain uber craxy fangirls, Ernie won a match. Yay!

First Round Singles Results:

[5] V Troicki (SRB) d D Gimeno-Traver (ESP) 61 75
E Gulbis (LAT) d [6] A Montanes (ESP) 62 75
[7] I Karlovic (CRO) d F Fognini (ITA) 64 64
O Rochus (BEL) d [WC] A Hajji (QAT) 61 60
M Chiudinelli (SUI) d P Lorenzi (ITA) 75 63 
P Starace (ITA) d F Gil (POR) 62 60
E Korolev (RUS) d M Vassallo Arguello (ARG) 62 63

Tomorrow, the big boys come out to play, with TMD, Rafa and Kolya all in action.

(Fangirl note, Rafa and Marc! will also be playing doubles!)

Tuesday OOP: