Indian Wells Final, aka what the actual fuck is going on?

WHAT THE FUCK?

Ivan Ljubicic of Croatia defeated American Andy Roddick 7-6, 7-6 yesterday to win his first Masters 1000 trophy.

They guys at the net. I must say, I thought RAndy’s runner up speech was pretty classy.

Does he think Federer’s standing behind him or something? /snark

I’m only taking the piss. I flove RAndy. But let’s face it. He does tend to bend over for TMD.

Anyways, my bitterness as a Dick fan aside, Old Man Ljubicic deserves mucho props for his amazing run this past week. He defeated Rafa, Nole, Pico and RAndy en route to his first Masters Shield, aged 31.  Thirty fucking One. That’s no typo y’all. Nuff respeck, Mr Clean.

Aww. Ljubicic and his hot WAG Aida. Cute. Although in all honesty, his bald veiny head has been making me wanna vomit all week. Still. They’re sweet.

All that remains to be said is thank fuck IW is over. Roll on Miami, bitches!

Rafa Fucked It Up. Sigh.

Well everyone knows what happened. Sigh. I will say this: Welcome to the shit list Mr. Clean. I know the old man played great. He beat Nole and Rafa that’s pretty amazing. Still pissed at him because Rafa and Nole are part of my stable of players and I’m not even mentioning Pico. What can I say of the match? Rafa was playing great but for me he lost the match in the 2nd set when he gifted the break with a DF. The TB was pathetic from Rafa, he was tentative and nervous. Those where Rafa’s words not mine. Well I did add the pathetic but I’m sure he feels the same way. I didn’t have the cojones to watch the TB. Anyway… is it the clay season yet?

Look who got lucky? I’m not a Dick hater. I don’t get why ppl think that. I’m not a fan, I have cheered for him in some matches in the past. Especially when he plays against Fed because I feel bad for him. Also the Fed hate may have some part in that. I’m going to keep it real and give my thoughts about him making the final.  He got pretty damn lucky. This is like Nole in Rome 2008. First: Baggy took care of Fed his biggest obstacle in all his draw. Second: after the Fed loss, he had a pretty big cupcake draw with players he owns. He did beat Sod who he had never beaten before I will give him credit for that. But they hadn’t played since forever and Sod is a big headcase/choker. See I can be nice to Sod. I’m not going to watch the final. I just simply don’t care. I will give my opinion who deserves to win. I think Mr. Clean does. Even if he’s on my shit list. He had the harder path to the finals. Sorry Dick fans. So whatever, let the best player during the match win.

Also the WTA and ATP doubles finals where played. I will just give a congrats to Srebotnik and Peschke. Didn’t see the match even if it was on my TV. I was too depressed after Rafa’s match to give a fuck about WTA doubles. So there.

Complete Scores: Saturday, March 20, 2010
Men’s Singles – Semifinals
[20] I Ljubicic (CRO) d [3] R Nadal (ESP) 36 64 76(1)
[7] A Roddick (USA) d [6] R Soderling (SWE) 64 36 63
Men’s Doubles – Final
[WC] M Lopez (ESP) / R Nadal (ESP) d [1] D Nestor (CAN) / N Zimonjic (SRB) 76(8) 63
Women’s Doubles – Final
K Peschke (CZE) / K Srebotnik (SLO) d [3] N Petrova (RUS) / S Stosur (AUS) 64 26 10-5
Author Note: No, I haven’t gone insane. I will do a whole different post for the ATP doubles final. Stay Tuned.

You Better Not Fuck It Up, Rafa.

Yesterday at IW was a really good day if you were a Rafa fan. His draw got a lot easier. Some ppl are already giving him the title. I’m not one of those ppl. I believe in taking it one match at the time. There still dangerous players in the draw. Who really though that Fed was going to lose to Baggy? Some ppl where hopeful  *ahem* Jills. My point is that you never know with tennis; sometimes anything can happen. Anyway… now let’s see the results, shall we?

Rafa beat Tree in 3 sets, 75 36 63. It was the first time they played and I was frazzled to no end. Tree is like an improved version of Dr. Ivo. His serve is just as good, he has better ground strokes and volleys, and I would totally jump his bones because he’s hot. Both Rafa and Tree were playing great in that 1st set. Rafa had 0 UFEs, yes ZERO. Rafa was playing great; I totally thought he was going to win in straights with the way he was playing. Then he totally brainfarted DFing 2 straight times (those were his first UFEs), and Tree hit an awesome winner giving him BPs.  Of course Tree took the gift that Rafa was giving him. Then the set was pretty much over because, well, we all know how it is with big servers. Then, in the 3rd set, Tree began to tire. Rafa does that to you. Rafa broke him and held serve a couple of times. Rafa was really pumped. The End. FYI, Rafa and Marc! keep kicking ass in doubles. They won.

Now the reason why Rafa’s draw got a lot easier.

This guy lost. I’ve been saying that Nole was playing like shit the whole week. He lost to Mr. Clean,  75 63. Yes, he lost to Old Man Ljubicic of all ppl and in straights.  I just saw a little bit of the match because those fuckers at the IW organization decided that it was a great idea to put Nole and Rafa on at the same time. It seems Mr. Clean took a tennis viagra and if Nole was playing like he was playing in his 2 previous matches, I totally get the result.  I’m kind of worried for Serbia in DC, it’s going to be a really hard tie against the Croats. He lost to the oldest tennis player in Croatia, ffs. Moving on.

Berdy beat Vik, 61 63. He’s Rafa’s next opponent. I really don’t know what to think. I can’t say how he’s been playing from what I saw. Vik had played 1 game before this match. Enjoy the free points and easy money, Vik. I didn’t see the match with Nando but from reports it seems Nando was playing crappy. Rafa hasn’t lost to Berdy I think since 2006. Still frazzled. I’m a KAD what can I say?

Tommy beat Fed Killer Baggy in 3 sets, 75 06 64. That bagel totally has a explanation. It seems Tommy has a big tummy ache. He has “the runs” like some commie said. So he better drink a lot of Pepto Bismol before his next match. He has to play this guy:

Dick beat Melzer, 76(5) 64. He has been playing great. Fed is out of his quarter, no chance for another loss from Fed’s hands. So he must be super pumped. This is a golden opportunity for Dick.

Someone finally got rid of GarLo the bracket ruiner. That someone was Pico. I so want Pico to make the semis. Avenge Nole, Pico! He plays Mr. Clean next.

Sod beat Jo,  63 64. It seems Sod owns Jo’s ass and I really don’t get it. The match seem super fast. Sod just cruised. WTF Jo?

Sod plays Muzz next. He won by retirement against Judas, 62 10 ret.. It seems Judas has an ankle injury. Well at least Judas got rid of Blah. Now to the chicks.

There were only two WTA matches. Remember when I said that I thought Lena was going to to win IW?

Well of course she lost to ARad,64 63. Proving once again that you can’t trust Lena and that WTA predictions are useless. ARad hasn’t lost a set and she keeps being ignored.  Her next opponent?

Caro. She beat adorable Jie, 64 46 61. Can I get a moment of silence for my WTA tennis pool team? There’s a lot in line for Caro in the match against ARad. Not only would she make the final,  she would become World #2, her highest ranking to date. I love Kiri but it seems Stella McCartney made the right choice by dumping Kiri for Caro. Even if the clothes looked better on Kiri, ppl are finally seeing her designs.

Full Results: Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Men’s Singles – Fourth Round
[20] I Ljubicic (CRO) d [2] N Djokovic (SRB) 75 63
[3] R Nadal (ESP) d [15] J Isner (USA) 75 36 63
[4] A Murray (GBR) d N Almagro (ESP) 64 10 ret. (ankle)
[6] R Soderling (SWE) d [9] J Tsonga (FRA) 63 64
[7] A Roddick (USA) d[22] J Melzer (AUT) 76(5) 64
[18] T Robredo (ESP) d [27] M Baghdatis (CYP) 75 06 64
[19] T Berdych (CZE) d [29] V Troicki (SRB) 61 63
[21] J Monaco (ARG) d G Garcia-Lopez (ESP) 36 62 61
Ladies’ Doubles – Quarterfinals
[2] C Wozniacki (DEN) d [18] J Zheng (CHN) 64 46 61
[5] A Radwanska (POL) d [4] E Dementieva (RUS) 64 63
Men’s Doubles – Quarterfinals
[6] S Aspelin (SWE) / P Hanley (AUS) d J Brunstrom (SWE) / J Rojer (AHO) 63 63
[WC] M Lopez (ESP) / R Nadal (ESP) d M Llodra (FRA) / A Ram (ISR) 62 64
J Isner (USA) / S Querrey (USA) d I Karlovic (CRO) / D Vemic (SRB) 63 64
Ladies’ Doubles – Quarterfinals
[6] B Mattek-Sands (USA) / Z Yan (CHN) d [2] N Llagostera Vives (ESP) / M Martinez Sanchez (ESP) 76(3) 16 10-5
[3] N Petrova (RUS) / S Stosur (AUS) d I Benesova (CZE) / B Zahlavova Strycova (CZE) 26 62 10-7

All Fashion Police units to IW please

It’s IW time, bitches!!!

Last night saw the BNP Paribas Open Player’s Party. Here are some of our fave examples of the “fashion” on show.

Oh, Rafa. Your horrific fashion sense is utterly endearing

If any other player wore this, I’d give them shit for being mumsy. But I love Kim, and she really is a Mama. So, work it!

The Joe Six Pack of the ATP. He’s just a normal dude!

Next time someone calls Muzz “The Ginge Hotness”, I’m having them sectioned.

I’m a JJkad. So, I’ll just say this isn’t one of her worst efforts.  But seriously, WTF?

Ana and Sorana. I think both look beautiful. Ivanovic in particular looks gorgeous.

I am trying *so* hard not to say something mean (and truthful) about this. So, yeah. Just no.

LMAO. Oh Dani. I had an outfit just like this about 6 years ago. When I was 16 and didn’t know any better.

So, HSMers, who did YOU think was the Best/Worst dressed?

Aussie Open Day 7 results

There were a lot of great matches at Melbourne Park on Sunday, with Rafa, RAndy, Gonzo, Muzz, Elf, Haley Joel Henin, MaKiri and Dina all in action.

This cutie is in great form. Defending champion and HSM fave Rafa Nadal made it through to the quarters with a solid 6-4, 4-6,6-4, 6-4 win over Ivo Karlovic. Some of Rafa’s shotmaking was ridic good. He’ll now face Muzz, who beat Tree in straights. In the other quarter, RAndy came through a 5 set epic to defeat Gonzo. It was a tough match, with some dodgy linecalls, but the standard of tennis was awesome. He’ll now face Marin, who defeated US Open champ JMDP in yet another epic 5 setter.

 

Le sigh. Poor Dina. She retired while serving to stay in the first set against HSM fave and uber babe MaKiri. It seems to be a return of her back injury from Doha. Girl was totes upset in her presser. Get well soon Dina!  MaKiri will now face Jay Z, who beat A-Blond in straights. Haley Joel beat Yanina in three sets and will now face Nads who continued her great run by downing French Open champion Sveta.

Monday OOP;

Schedule of Play

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  Rod Laver Arena11:00 Start  

 
  Women’s Singles – 4th Round
  Francesca Schiavone(ITA)[17] vs.   Venus Williams(USA)[6]
   
 
     
 
  Men’s Singles – 4th Round
  Fernando Verdasco(ESP)[9] vs.   Nikolay Davydenko(RUS)[6]
   
 
     
 
  Women’s Singles – 4th Round
  Serena Williams(USA)[1] vs.   Samantha Stosur(AUS)[13]
   
 
     
 
 
 
  Rod Laver Arena19:30 Start  

 
  Men’s Singles – 4th Round
  Roger Federer(SUI)[1] vs.   Lleyton Hewitt(AUS)[22]
   
 
     
 
  Women’s Singles – 4th Round
  Vera Zvonareva(RUS)[9] vs.   Victoria Azarenka(BLR)[7]
   
 
     
 
 
 
  Hisense Arena11:00 Start  

 
  Mixed Doubles – 2nd Round
  Flavia Pennetta(ITA) /
  Marcelo Melo(BRA)
vs.   Jarmila Groth(AUS) /
  Samuel Groth(AUS)
 
   
 
  Women’s Singles – 4th Round
  Caroline Wozniacki(DEN)[4] vs.   Na Li(CHN)[16]
 
   
 
  Men’s Singles – 4th Round
  Novak Djokovic(SRB)[3] vs.   Lukasz Kubot(POL)
 
   
 
  Men’s Singles – 4th Round
  Jo-Wilfried Tsonga(FRA)[10] vs.   Nicolas Almagro(ESP)[26]

Australian Open Day 5: ATP

I decided to do two separate posts today because there is too much to process. I’ll post about the WTA later.

Today on the ATP side there were  upsets, five setters and scares.

It looks like he’s waiting for a kiss. So cute.

Well the day started with Feli vs Dick. Feli was playing really well and won the first set. He actually gave a good fight so I’m proud of him. He was also wearing just a jock strap and you could kind of see his ass when he started sweating. Feli is always giving the fangirls what they want. Anyway, he lost in 4 at the end.

Is it me or is Dick looking Manorexic? Eat a sandwich, dude.

Dick will play Gonzo. He beat former Russian and new representative of the Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan Korolev in 5 sets.

Who keeps being injured, playing like shit and winning? DelPo. He won in 4 sets but got bageled in the second by Mayer. WTF? I have a feeling that his run might be coming to a end. He will play his clone next, Marin.

Marin beat Stan again in 4 sets and is looking really good. We all know that Marin is able to pull the upset and his game is quite similar to DelPo’s. I really want to see that match.

Talking about upsets. Hagrid keeps winning and kicking ass. He beat LaMonf in 4. His prize?

Playing this dude. Muzz cruised against Serra. He’s been quietly making his way through the draw. He’s been playing rather well (or his opponents are not that great.)  I haven’t seen him play, so idk. I saved the best for last.


Rafa beat the Techno King and resident of my shit list Kohls. I still haven’t forgiven him for beating Nole at the French. Rafa beat him in four. Rafa was up 2 sets to none and then this German Douche decided that he still wanted to play and not let me sleep by winning the 3rd set. Then I started to swear my ass off at 6 am in the morning. I knew Rafa was going to win but I was still scared.  Hey, I’m a KAD. In that 4th set I was really frazzled, Kohls gave Rafa a really hard time. Rafa’s next opponent?

The man with the serve from hell, Dr. Ivo. I’m already frazzled. Dr. Ivo beat his fellow country man Mr. Clean. I think everyone hates to see their faves play this wannabe rapper. I expect a couple of TBs and I hate TBs- they’re not good for my nerves. To help the other Rafa fans and I calm down, I’m posting a shirtless pic of Rafa:

Yum. Much better.

Hit For Haiti: Vid Spam

Some kind soul already downloaded the whole thing on You Tube.  The quality is not that great but better than nothing. For those who missed it or want to see it again, this is for you. There are six parts and it’s quite long. Enjoy.