RG QFs; shit just got real

Dude. What a fucking day at RG.

HSM uber fave, and all round King of Awesome Nole lost to Jurgen Melzer in a tough and epic 5 setter. Nole had lead by two sets to love and a break. This was such a tough loss. But credit where it’s due, Melzer played the match of his fucking life. Well done to him. Hugs to our fellow Nole fans. Especially our resident Serbian BAMF Aleksa.

Melzer’s reward? A match with….

King of Clay Rafa, who took out his douchebag compatriot Nicolas Assmagro in straights. It was actually a tough match, Rafa made shitloads of unforced errors, but he came through in the end and that’s all that matters. Vamos!

In the ladies draw,

these two chicks will face off in the Semis. I love JJ so much, but TBH, a round of applause is required for the fucking amazing Slammin’ Sammy Stosur. She took out Haley Joel Henin and World #1 ReRe in consecutive matches. That is truly badass. My girl JJ beat Yaroslava Shvedova in straights. Ajde!

We will have a virgin slam winner lift the trophy. The WTA semis are tomorrow;

http://www.rolandgarros.com/en_FR/scores/schedule/index.html

I’m gonna be about as fair and balanced as Faux News here and say I’d like to see JJ win this motherfucker. AJDE GLITTER TRAIN!

(I mean, I’d be happy for any of the others, who are all great, but I’m a JJ KAD)

HOLY FUCKING SHIT aka RG Men’s Singles QFs

IS THIS REAL LIFE?

So long, asshole

ROBIN BO CARL SODERLING YOU BADASS MOTHERFUCKER!

Yes, that did just happen. The Sod beat defending champion TMD in four sets to reach his second consecutive Roland Garros semifinal. This means Fed may lose his #1 ranking. It also means Fed’s incredible semi streak comes to an end.  I’m going to resist the temptation of kicking Fedoucherer while he’s down. Suffice it to say, we here at HSM are pretty fucking jazzed for RRBC. Sorry to the decent Fedfans. But this isn’t about Federer. This is about RRBC’s awesome fucking tennis, his badassery, and his epic cheerleaders, our very own HVIC, Jills, and our Twitter sister @JulesDC. I’m so fucking happy for you guys!

To all the haters who said Sod would grab his ankles and let Fed roll past, SUCK IT! Don’t doubt the Swedish BAMF in future!

I must confess, I’ve never really liked Soderling. But for the last few months, Queen Vitch Jillian has been steadily changing my opinion of him. He has an incredible game, he’s funny in pressers, and is adorkable. I mean come on, any dude who’ll sing Gimme Gimme Gimme by ABBA is clearly win. So, I salute you, General Sod. RRBC will now play…

beautiful BAMF Tomas Berdych, who beat Misha in straights to reach his first ever slam semi. Berdy is wonderfully talented, and totally fucking adorable. After years of people calling him a choker, he’s really coming good.

Nice to see another HSM fave go deep.

This post is dedicated to Jills. I love you, Vitch.

Nando downs Nole, Rafa blasts past Ferru

So, that was some performance by Fernando Verdasco Carmona!

This awesome HSM fave made his first ever Masters Series final by defeating

this awesome HSM fave. Poor Nole had a bad match, he just never really hit his stride. But that does not take away from the fact that Nando played some beautiful tennis, and really hit some amazing shots. So, Fernando Verdasco def. Novak Djokovic 6-2, 6-2. He’ll now face…

Rafa, who breezed passed fellow Armada hottie Ferru, 6-2, 6-3. Rafa was impressive, but not quite at the awesome level he reached in the QFs. Still, it’s so nice to see him back on the clay and kicking ass.

This was overall a good week for Ferru. He played some solid tennis, but just couldn’t deal with Rafa’s maaaad clay court skillz.

So. Rafa vs Nando tomorrow ladies and gentlemen. Buckle up, it’s gonna be some fucking ride.

Vamos chicos!

Mmmonte Carlo brings the epic matches

So, clay court tennis is made of shiny win. And today, one badass Frenchie and one badass Spaniard proved that point for us and our viewing pleasure

This dude*

 defeated this dude

in what was by far the match of the day. The tennis was incredible, with both men hitting their best level of tennis. So? JCF’s reward for winning this epic tennis battle? A match with….

Rafa. Nice reward, huh? /sarcasm Anyways, The King of Clay kicked some serious ass yet again today, coming through 0 and 1 again in under an hour. Va-fucking-mos!

Meanwhile…..

HSM fave Nando defeated fellow HSM fave Tomas Berdych to end a run of two straight losses against the Czech. Nando really needed the win, and will now face Montanes for a place in the semis. Vamos, Fer!  

Other notable stories; Nole sailing past Stanley the Manly, Nalby showing us that he’s back and he means business, Ferru taking out Old Man Ljubicic and the fact that 5 of the 8 quarter finalists are Spanish. Lovin’ your work, Armada!

Full results from Thursday, 15 April 2010

Singles – Third Round
[1] N Djokovic (SRB) d [13] S Wawrinka (SUI) 64 64
[2] R Nadal (ESP) d M Berrer (GER) 60 61
A Montanes (ESP) d [4] M Cilic (CRO) 64 64
[11] D Ferrer (ESP) d [8] I Ljubicic (CRO) 60 76(4)
[9] J Ferrero (ESP) d [5] J Tsonga (FRA) 61 36 75
[6] F Verdasco (ESP) d [10] T Berdych (CZE) 57 63 62
D Nalbandian (ARG) d [12] T Robredo (ESP) 63 64
P Kohlschreiber (GER) d P Petzschner (GER) 63 64

Doubles – Second Round
[1] D Nestor (CAN) / N Zimonjic (SRB) d J Melzer (AUT) / M Youzhny (RUS) 63 76(1)
[2] B Bryan (USA) / M Bryan (USA) d [WC] R Hutchins (GBR) / A Murray (GBR) 67(4) 62 10-2 
[6] L Kubot (POL) / O Marach (AUT) d N Almagro (ESP) / I Ljubicic (CRO) 64 67(4) 10-4
[7] S Aspelin (SWE) / P Hanley (AUS) d E Butorac (USA) / M Kohlmann (GER) 57 62 10-6
[8] M Knowles (BAH) / B Soares (BRA) d [WC] R Gasquet (FRA) / J Tsonga (FRA) W/O (Tsonga – right groin)

OOP for FRIDAY, 16 APRIL 2010

COURT CENTRAL start 10:30 am
[11] D Ferrer (ESP) vs P Kohlschreiber (GER)
[9] J Ferrero (ESP) vs [2] R Nadal (ESP)
[1] N Djokovic (SRB) vs D Nalbandian (ARG)
A Montanes (ESP) vs [6] F Verdasco (ESP)
[1] D Nestor (CAN) / N Zimonjic (SRB) vs [8] M Knowles (BAH) / B Soares (BRA)

COURT DES PRINCES start 1:00 pm
[4] W Moodie (RSA) / D Norman (BEL) vs [6] L Kubot (POL) / O Marach (AUT)
[5] M Bhupathi (IND) / M Mirnyi (BLR) vs [2] B Bryan (USA) / M Bryan (USA)
[7] S Aspelin (SWE) / P Hanley (AUS) vs D Ferrer (ESP) / M Lopez (ESP

 *I’d like to apologise for using that awful photo of the delicious BAMF that is JCF, but it’s the only one I could find!

 

Mmmmonte Carlo results and OOP

So, again, we’ve been a bit slack with posting. But we have lives outside of tennisKADism, and sometimes real life gets in the way. Again, you have our apologies.  M(mmm)onte Carlo is filled with hotties. Check out tomorrow’s OOP below, centre court is made of delicious win!

So, MAndy got his ass kicked today by PEHK. Dude got seriously owned. Poor old Muzz, he’s having a bad run of results, but the British media need to cut the bloke some slack. Bandwagoners.

Meanwhile, one Rafael Nadal Parera absolutely hammered De Bakker, one and love. Yummy. A breadstick and a bagel from Deli Nadal. Just what we like to see. Rafa only lost 12 points on De Bakker’s serve all match. VAMOS! Nalby also had a big win over Misha, and HSM fave Nole also sailed through to the 3rd Round.

Complete results for Wednesday, 14 April 2010

Singles – Second Round
[1] N Djokovic (SRB) d F Serra (FRA) 62 63
[2] R Nadal (ESP) d [Q] T de Bakker (NED) 61 60
P Kohlschreiber (GER) d [3] [WC] A Murray (GBR) 62 61 
D Nalbandian (ARG) d [7] M Youzhny (RUS) 46 63 76(5)
[8] I Ljubicic (CRO) d M Llodra (FRA) 63 76(3)
[9] J Ferrero (ESP) d B Becker (GER) 63 64
[11] D Ferrer (ESP) d [Q] A Golubev (KAZ) 63 62
[12] T Robredo (ESP) d V Troicki (SRB) 64 63
[13] S Wawrinka (SUI) d E Gulbis (LAT) 61 64
M Berrer (GER) d [14] J Monaco (ARG) 64 64
P Petzschner (GER) d [15] J Melzer (AUT) 76(4) 62
A Montanes (ESP) d A Seppi (ITA) 76(1) 36 60

Doubles – Second Round
D Ferrer (ESP) / M Lopez (ESP) d [3] L Dlouhy (CZE) / L Paes (IND) 63 62
[4] W Moodie (RSA) / D Norman (BEL) d N Djokovic (SRB) / V Troicki (SRB) 26 64 10-8

Doubles – First Round
[WC] R Gasquet (FRA) / J Tsonga (FRA) d M Granollers (ESP) / T Robredo (ESP) 26 64 10-7
E Butorac (USA) / M Kohlmann (GER) d G Garcia-Lopez (ESP) / S Wawrinka (SUI) 63 60  

OOP for THURSDAY, 15 APRIL 2010

COURT CENTRAL start 10:30 am
[10] T Berdych (CZE) vs [6] F Verdasco (ESP)
M Berrer (GER) vs [2] R Nadal (ESP)
[5] J Tsonga (FRA) vs [9] J Ferrero (ESP)
[1] N Djokovic (SRB) vs [13] S Wawrinka (SUI)
[WC] R Gasquet (FRA) / J Tsonga (FRA) vs [8] M Knowles (BAH) / B Soares (BRA)

COURT DES PRINCES start 10:30 am
[4] M Cilic (CRO) vs A Montanes (ESP)
[8] I Ljubicic (CRO) vs [11] D Ferrer (ESP)
[12] T Robredo (ESP) vs D Nalbandian (ARG)
P Petzschner (GER) vs P Kohlschreiber (GER)
[1] D Nestor (CAN) / N Zimonjic (SRB) vs J Melzer (AUT) / M Youzhny (RUS) – After Suitable Rest

COURT 2 start 12:00 noon
[7] S Aspelin (SWE) / P Hanley (AUS) vs E Butorac (USA) / M Kohlmann (GER)
[WC] R Hutchins (GBR) / A Murray (GBR) vs [2] B Bryan (USA) / M Bryan (USA)
N Almagro (ESP) / I Ljubicic (CRO) vs [6] L Kubot (POL) / O Marach (AUT) – After Suitable Rest

 

Masha, Monfils out; TMD, Blahroline through

Yeah. So yesterday at IW was pretty much total fail. HSM faves Masha, Evgeny, Ferru, Monfils, MaKiri and Bally (among others) were all knocked out. While douchenags that we’re not toofond of gave us all hope by losing sets only to come back and win. Yeah, I am talking about you know who.

Masha lost to the Jay Zizzle, in a truly shiteous match, in three sets

Le sigh. Monfils lost to Simon Greul, who is now totally shitlisted til further notice

I swear, this wasn’t a bitchy photo selection on my part. Twas the best of the lot. I’m actually serious. She ousted Kiri

All results:

Men’s Singles – Third Round [29] V Troicki (SRB) d [5] N Davydenko – w/o (broken left wrist)

Men’s Singles – Second Round

[1] R Federer (SUI) d V Hanescu (ROU) 63 67(5) 61

 [4] A Murray (GBR) d A Seppi (ITA) 64 64

 [6] R Soderling (SWE) d E Korolev (KAZ) 62 64

[7] A Roddick (USA) d [Q] Y Lu (TPE) 64 64

[9] J Tsonga (FRA) d [Q] M Matosevic (AUS) 61 63

S Greul (GER) d [12] G Monfils (FRA) 16 62 63

J Blake (USA) d [13] D Ferrer (ESP) 61 64

D Sela (ISR) d [14] R Stepanek (CZE) 64 16 62

[18] T Robredo (ESP) d S Stakhovsky (UKR) 36 63 75

[22] J Melzer (AUT) d [WC] D Nalbandian (ARG) 64 61

N Almagro (ESP) d [23] I Karlovic (CRO) 75 76(5)

[24] A Montanes (ESP) d [Q] R Mello (BRA) 36 64 64

[27] M Baghdatis (CYP) d A Clement (FRA) 76(7) 61

[28] F Lopez (ESP) d P Mathieu (FRA) 36 63 64

T de Bakker (NED) d [30] J Tipsarevic (SRB) 32 ret. (abdominal strain)

M Russell (USA) d [32] I Andreev (RUS) 46 63 62

 Men’s Doubles – Second Round M Llodra (FRA) / A Ram (ISR) d J Tipsarevic (SRB) / V Troicki (SRB) w/o (Tipsarevic – abdominal strain) Men’s Doubles – First Round [1] D Nestor (CAN) / N Zimonjic (SRB) d E Butorac (USA) / R Ram (USA) 63 64 T Berdych (CZE) / P Kohlschreiber (GER) d [2] B Bryan (USA) / M Bryan (USA) 76(4) 75 [WC] M Lopez (ESP) / R Nadal (ESP) d [3] L Dlouhy (CZE) / L Paes (IND) 64 36 10-6 [6] S Aspelin (SWE) / P Hanley (AUS) d J Kerr (AUS) / F Polasek (SVK) 75 63 F Lopez (ESP) / F Verdasco (ESP) d [WC] M Ancic (CRO) / M Fish (USA) 76(9) 63

Women’s Singles – Third Round

[2] C Wozniacki (DEN) d [32] M Kirilenko (RUS) 60 63

[4] E Dementieva (RUS) d K Flipkens (BEL) 64 62

[5] A Radwanska (POL) d [31] G Dulko (ARG) 61 60

[18] J Zheng (CHN) d [10] M Sharapova (RUS) 63 26 63

[11] M Bartoli (FRA) d J Craybas (USA) 62 60

[19] A Rezai (FRA) d [15] F Schiavone (ITA) 67(4) 76(2) 64

[16] N Petrova (RUS) d S Peng (CHN) 61 75

[WC] A Molik (AUS) d [Q] E Baltacha (GBR) 60 62

Women’s Doubles – Second Round [2] N Llagostera Vives (ESP) / M Martinez Sanchez (ESP) d G Dulko (ARG) / F Pennetta (ITA) 75 76(4) I Benesova (CZE) / B Zahlavova Strycova (CZE) d [5] A Kleybanova (RUS) / F Schiavone (ITA) 57 75 10-1 [6] B Mattek-Sands (USA) / Z Yan (CHN) d [WC] T Garbin (ITA) / J Jankovic (SRB) 64 46 10-5

Masha fierce, Queen Vee defends crown, Mariana pops title cherry

The WTA is batshit crazy. But I fucking love it!

Masha fierce > Sasha fierce. FACT. HSM fave Sharapova crushed Sofia Arvidsson by 6-2, 6-1 in the Memphis final. Good times for Masha, who seemed to be on supreme form all week. She’s definitely on the up! Davai!

Meanwhile, the classier Willaims sister, Queen Vee, defended her Dubai crown by downing BAMF Vika, 6-3, 7-5.

And finally, a big congrats to young Colombian Mariana Duque Marino, who won her maiden title at her home tournie in Bogotá. Good for her, and good for Colombian tennis. She defeated the favored Angelique Kerber in the final.

This week, the SEWTA Tour moves on to Acapulco and Kuala Lumpur.