HOLY FUCKING SHIT aka RG Men’s Singles QFs

IS THIS REAL LIFE?

So long, asshole

ROBIN BO CARL SODERLING YOU BADASS MOTHERFUCKER!

Yes, that did just happen. The Sod beat defending champion TMD in four sets to reach his second consecutive Roland Garros semifinal. This means Fed may lose his #1 ranking. It also means Fed’s incredible semi streak comes to an end.  I’m going to resist the temptation of kicking Fedoucherer while he’s down. Suffice it to say, we here at HSM are pretty fucking jazzed for RRBC. Sorry to the decent Fedfans. But this isn’t about Federer. This is about RRBC’s awesome fucking tennis, his badassery, and his epic cheerleaders, our very own HVIC, Jills, and our Twitter sister @JulesDC. I’m so fucking happy for you guys!

To all the haters who said Sod would grab his ankles and let Fed roll past, SUCK IT! Don’t doubt the Swedish BAMF in future!

I must confess, I’ve never really liked Soderling. But for the last few months, Queen Vitch Jillian has been steadily changing my opinion of him. He has an incredible game, he’s funny in pressers, and is adorkable. I mean come on, any dude who’ll sing Gimme Gimme Gimme by ABBA is clearly win. So, I salute you, General Sod. RRBC will now play…

beautiful BAMF Tomas Berdych, who beat Misha in straights to reach his first ever slam semi. Berdy is wonderfully talented, and totally fucking adorable. After years of people calling him a choker, he’s really coming good.

Nice to see another HSM fave go deep.

This post is dedicated to Jills. I love you, Vitch.

Masha, Monfils out; TMD, Blahroline through

Yeah. So yesterday at IW was pretty much total fail. HSM faves Masha, Evgeny, Ferru, Monfils, MaKiri and Bally (among others) were all knocked out. While douchenags that we’re not toofond of gave us all hope by losing sets only to come back and win. Yeah, I am talking about you know who.

Masha lost to the Jay Zizzle, in a truly shiteous match, in three sets

Le sigh. Monfils lost to Simon Greul, who is now totally shitlisted til further notice

I swear, this wasn’t a bitchy photo selection on my part. Twas the best of the lot. I’m actually serious. She ousted Kiri

All results:

Men’s Singles – Third Round [29] V Troicki (SRB) d [5] N Davydenko – w/o (broken left wrist)

Men’s Singles – Second Round

[1] R Federer (SUI) d V Hanescu (ROU) 63 67(5) 61

 [4] A Murray (GBR) d A Seppi (ITA) 64 64

 [6] R Soderling (SWE) d E Korolev (KAZ) 62 64

[7] A Roddick (USA) d [Q] Y Lu (TPE) 64 64

[9] J Tsonga (FRA) d [Q] M Matosevic (AUS) 61 63

S Greul (GER) d [12] G Monfils (FRA) 16 62 63

J Blake (USA) d [13] D Ferrer (ESP) 61 64

D Sela (ISR) d [14] R Stepanek (CZE) 64 16 62

[18] T Robredo (ESP) d S Stakhovsky (UKR) 36 63 75

[22] J Melzer (AUT) d [WC] D Nalbandian (ARG) 64 61

N Almagro (ESP) d [23] I Karlovic (CRO) 75 76(5)

[24] A Montanes (ESP) d [Q] R Mello (BRA) 36 64 64

[27] M Baghdatis (CYP) d A Clement (FRA) 76(7) 61

[28] F Lopez (ESP) d P Mathieu (FRA) 36 63 64

T de Bakker (NED) d [30] J Tipsarevic (SRB) 32 ret. (abdominal strain)

M Russell (USA) d [32] I Andreev (RUS) 46 63 62

 Men’s Doubles – Second Round M Llodra (FRA) / A Ram (ISR) d J Tipsarevic (SRB) / V Troicki (SRB) w/o (Tipsarevic – abdominal strain) Men’s Doubles – First Round [1] D Nestor (CAN) / N Zimonjic (SRB) d E Butorac (USA) / R Ram (USA) 63 64 T Berdych (CZE) / P Kohlschreiber (GER) d [2] B Bryan (USA) / M Bryan (USA) 76(4) 75 [WC] M Lopez (ESP) / R Nadal (ESP) d [3] L Dlouhy (CZE) / L Paes (IND) 64 36 10-6 [6] S Aspelin (SWE) / P Hanley (AUS) d J Kerr (AUS) / F Polasek (SVK) 75 63 F Lopez (ESP) / F Verdasco (ESP) d [WC] M Ancic (CRO) / M Fish (USA) 76(9) 63

Women’s Singles – Third Round

[2] C Wozniacki (DEN) d [32] M Kirilenko (RUS) 60 63

[4] E Dementieva (RUS) d K Flipkens (BEL) 64 62

[5] A Radwanska (POL) d [31] G Dulko (ARG) 61 60

[18] J Zheng (CHN) d [10] M Sharapova (RUS) 63 26 63

[11] M Bartoli (FRA) d J Craybas (USA) 62 60

[19] A Rezai (FRA) d [15] F Schiavone (ITA) 67(4) 76(2) 64

[16] N Petrova (RUS) d S Peng (CHN) 61 75

[WC] A Molik (AUS) d [Q] E Baltacha (GBR) 60 62

Women’s Doubles – Second Round [2] N Llagostera Vives (ESP) / M Martinez Sanchez (ESP) d G Dulko (ARG) / F Pennetta (ITA) 75 76(4) I Benesova (CZE) / B Zahlavova Strycova (CZE) d [5] A Kleybanova (RUS) / F Schiavone (ITA) 57 75 10-1 [6] B Mattek-Sands (USA) / Z Yan (CHN) d [WC] T Garbin (ITA) / J Jankovic (SRB) 64 46 10-5

Hit for Haiti – part deux announced

For a sport that has a reputation for being elitist, Tennis sure does do a lot of good in the world of charity. In what can be filed under “pure awesome win”, it has been announced that Rafa Nadal and André Agassi will take on TMD and his equally douchey “GOAT” predecessor, Pete Sampras, in a doubles match as a  “Hit for Haiti” mark two at Indian Wells in March.

Yeah. I’m gonna go ahead and say I want these dudes to win.

Although kudos to these douchebags for getting involved in even more charity work.

The match will take place on March 12th, and will be televised by The Tennis Channel. New IW tournament owner, Larry Ellison, is organising it, and donated $1m of his own money, so well done to him.

Let’s just hope that a lot of money is raised for this very worthy cause, and that the match is as epic as it could be!

 

Aussie Open Day 8 Dudes results. The day the hotness died.

Well, overall, that fucking sucked.

Good job, photog. HSM fave and DBO provider Nando lost another epic five setter, this time to the ultimate boner killer….

Damn you Kolya. Why ya gotta play us HSM ladies like that? Stop beating our faves ya tool! (Although we do love your missus. Irina pwns everyone.)

Nando fought back from two ses to love down to force a decider, but in the end, lost by 6-2, 7-5, 4-6, 6-7, 6-3.

Kolya will now play TMD, who ruined the night of Aussie fans, and indeed TMD haterz, by beating Lleyton in straights. I didn’t see the match, but hear it was an incredibly boring affair. What a shock. Kolya, I usually DGAF about your matches, but try and actually beat TMD when it matters this time. Otherwise…

This BAMF will probably kick your ass, and you’ll be on the HSM shitlist forever.

There was some good news today, this hottie got great win..

beating Lukasz Kubot in straights, and will now face this cutie…

..who came through another five set epic against Assmagro. It will be a repeat of the 2008 AO final. Gah. I can’t wait!

Day 9 OOP on RLA (11am start) Day Sesh : Haley Joel Henin v Nads, Jay Z vs MaKiri, RANdy vs Marin.

Evening Sesh( NB 19:30): Rafa vs MAndy bitches!!! Followed by the Douche Twins vs Some other dudes.

Youzhny downed in Doha

Monday saw the First Round matches get underway in Doha, Qatar. Neither Rafa nor TMD were playing, and as a result there was approximately 19 people in the crowd. Bad show, y’all.

The only real shocking exit of the day was Russian headcase and uber hottie Mikhail Youzhny being ousted by Sergei Stakhovsky 7-6, 6-2. The first set was a hard fought affair, with the Ukrainian evetntually taking it on the tiebreak, 13-11. The next set, however, would prove to be the last, with Youzhny handing it over 6-2.

In good news for certain uber craxy fangirls, Ernie won a match. Yay!

First Round Singles Results:

[5] V Troicki (SRB) d D Gimeno-Traver (ESP) 61 75
E Gulbis (LAT) d [6] A Montanes (ESP) 62 75
[7] I Karlovic (CRO) d F Fognini (ITA) 64 64
O Rochus (BEL) d [WC] A Hajji (QAT) 61 60
M Chiudinelli (SUI) d P Lorenzi (ITA) 75 63 
P Starace (ITA) d F Gil (POR) 62 60
E Korolev (RUS) d M Vassallo Arguello (ARG) 62 63

Tomorrow, the big boys come out to play, with TMD, Rafa and Kolya all in action.

(Fangirl note, Rafa and Marc! will also be playing doubles!)

Tuesday OOP:

I’m Excited And So Is Fed, Apparently

Fed ended 2009 with his 12-0 record vs Kolya finally tarnished at the London WTFs. So what better way to start 2010 by having his 12-0 unbeaten record vs Sod wiped away? (Granted, this was an exo and doesn’t count in ATP stats, but it’s still a legit match imo). Gives me a glimmer of hope anyway. If even Sod -Fed’s #1 bitchboy- can beat him, it’s a really good sign.

Needless to say, I’m excited for 2010. I’m hoping the next streak to end is the consecutive Grand Slam semifinal appearances. How about at the AO in just a few weeks? Yes please.

He won 3rd place, how exciting for him. Ew.